Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Yes! 148lbs

Finally in the 140s. I was trying to get to 145 by christmas but I will definitely take 148! Yes, it feels so cool. I feel like my vegetable challenge is really working! I thought because I was eating ramen and vegetables I would be gaining but I'm not. I'm eating ramen without the seasoning and pouring frozen vegetables on it. It all goes in the microwave for 5 minutes. I will switch things up but I'm so happy. I extended my gym membership for another year and once I get used to my vegetable challenge I will devise a plan to regularly use my elliptical again. I know I wanted it for like summer and blizzards but I want to use them again like I did before going to the gym. Soon I will have regular cable and internet so I could start watching anime while exercising again.

Edit:: I realized I hadn't mentioned my vegetable challenge. It's to eat vegetables with dinner for 61 days so I can buy a $61 perfume. The perfume is inevitable but when I get it is the real question. I'm on day 4 of the vegetable challenge.

Friday, December 16, 2011


This isn't necessarily a weight loss post. My hair has been going through a journey along with my weight. In fact my whole style has been going on a journey! I've been really trying to take care of my attire and hair more since I've started the weight loss. Lately, I've been looking at youtube videos for tutorials on styles for my hair and clothes. It's tiring to think about how some look great everyday with their hair and clothes. I want to be like that. I don't really want to be super vain but I don't want to have many frumpy days. So far I've been pretty successful although I see my old ways of mismatching creeping back up when the laundry is low. Hopefully I will really get the hang of this whole dressing to impress myself thing.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Wow a lot has happened

A lot has happened in such a short time. I'm going through some transitions in my life but I'm not giving up on my weight loss. This week I did 5 hours of Zumba but not that much weight training. I think I need to make a point of losing the stress in the morning and working out my arms. That is the reason I brought my dumbbells to work with me. I did a workout today that I'm really feeling. My weight isn't changing but my size is dropping. Christmas is coming soon and I really want to look good in my outfits so I'm going to train as much as possible.

Never say you can't work out because you can always find something small to do: Thursday for instance, a woman held me up from rushing home to change into my gym clothes for Zumba. I still went to Zumba-- in jeans, ugg boots, and all. The workout was hard because jeans aren't for dancing but I still pumped as hard as I could. I worked out even though I was tired and stressed from work. It's just hard to make excuses after all that. I did miss class last Saturday but I know I have to keep going.

Panda Express is the enemy! or is it Panera! or is it my lack of will power to drag myself to the grocery after the gym to get groceries. I pick the lack of will power. I'm still not doing great in the food department even though I'm making mild attempts to order more vegetables when I get my rice and chicken. I also have been eating tuna for lunch with a piece of fruit and some chips. I probably could do without the chips but I stopped making popcorn on the stove. I might even stop buying fiber bars for a while too. I love eating them but I think I may need a mild break from the sugar. I'm really finding I'm not in love with sugar like I used to be.

There is going to be another Zumba instructor joining my gym so I might be able to do 6 hours of Zumba a week. I'm thinking if I could do that every week I will be in pretty good shape for the summer. I'm trying a regimen that hopefully will lighten my stretch marks- Its using pure cocoa butter every morning. I probably should do it morning and night but so far it's only been the morning.

That's it for now!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Another Day

I'm trying to understand why I have so much soreness when all I added was pilates. Maybe it really is more of a workout than I thought. The converse shoes seem to be working out right now at the gym even though they are kind of slippery. If you are wondering what I am talking about here is the story: I was feeling extreme discomfort in my knees after Zumba so I'm trying out different shoes until I find a pair suitable for my knees so that I don't end up having to get knee braces. I'm starting to realize I have an addiction to walking around. There was this book I read where this woman just walked and walked until she had holes in her shoes and someone stopped her. I don't think I would want holes in my shoes but I wouldn't mind just walking and walking.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Down 70!!!! Tried a Pilates Class

It so exciting to finally be 150 pounds. I still look like I have a lot of weight to lose being short and all but I'm happy my weight is going down. Last night, I did Zumba and Pilates. Pilates is so calm compared to Zumba but it is just as fun. I feel the soreness from the work out. I'm really happy I didn't gain from Thanksgiving. I did so much walking for Black Friday shopping; it was awesome. Sunday I did some resistance band training while I was playing an online word game.

I'm not going to forget my big time goal of 145 for the end of the year. I think I can do it. My food goal is to eat more vegetables a week. I'm not sure how I'm going to track this. I should start bringing tupperware with steamed vegetables to work or steam some vegetables with my dinners. Instead of eating at the restaurants, I should take it home and make some vegetables to beef up the dinner. I haven't really gone grocery shopping except for food to shove in my desk for work.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Happy Holidays

I can't say that I necessarily ate that wonderfully for Thanksgiving but I did do Zumba in the morning and I also did some walking today. I took a couple pictures of myself for the occasion. It was a good day. I only ended up really eating the dinner. I wasn't hungry for the rest of the day. I didn't binge either. Most of my plate was green beans and I tried not too eat all the sugary stuff. My knees started to hurt from Zumba so I'm taking a couple days off. I may need to invest into some different shoes. I'm hoping it might have just been because my body wasn't adjusted to all the jumping.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


I've been sore today and tired but it didn't stop me from going to zumba. It was so good but my legs were trembling walking out of the gym. I think I may need to take a one day break from Zumba tomorrow but if I feel like I can muster up the energy I will go.

I'm going to work on remembering to take more pictures of this journey since it's not over yet.

My body is stalling and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm not eating enough vegetables. I'm going to work back in the vegetables for the regular snack. I have still been eating tuna so at least I have something going for me.

Monday, November 21, 2011

151 and 6 hours

I managed to do 6 hours of Zumba last week. It was so much fun!! I also did some weight training and abdominal tucks with the resistance band. Hopefully I will have a fail proof plan for thanksgiving because I love macaroni and cheese. My family doesn't want to eat low carb macaroni and cheese. Sigh. I might make it wednesday night so I won't care too much that it's there for thanksgiving. I want to lose like 6 more pounds before New Years. If I keep up with the weight training on the days I can't go to Zumba I should be alright. I should be at my first goal weight of 130 by March if I can keep up my exercise. The 119 goal is really the vanity goal of wanting to be fully in the normal BMI rather than being so close to overweight.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

2 Zumba classes in one day

I didn't think I could do it but I did. I even was wearing jeans in the first one because at the last minute before leaving work I talked myself into going (more like my coworkers talked me into it). My body is sore. I think I need to weigh in more often so hopefully I will lose weight more consistently with the better tracking. I did weight training after zumba so hopefully it will work. Also, I did the abdominal tucks last night with the resistance bands. One of my coworkers asked me what size I was and she told me she doesn't think the sizing is accurate. I do shop at the thrift store and haven't tried on nonthrifted pants in a long time. Maybe my freaking out was over nothing? But I would like to be in the single digits regardless of whether it's thrifted or not.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Feeling so impatient

I really really want to get into the single digits in my jeans. It feels a little like torture that I've come all this way and I can't seem to fit my butt into a size 9 or 10 for that matter in most jeans. Thank you Michael Kors for making awesome jeans that make me feel good about my curves but what the heck. I need to have more exercise or something. I'm about to do crunches after I finish this rant and hopefully I will feel like I did something towards my goal. I don't even want to rant to people I know because they wouldn't understand how I feel to be trapped. I don't feel like going to the gym more because I want to have a life but I feel like my weight is still holding me back.

People keep saying to me I shouldn't go under 130 but I think I should; this thin woman had so much energy doing Zumba tonight. I want that energy. She didn't pull off the moves with as much force as I was but she was able to hop and jump like it was nothing. I always feel like my chest is going to hit me in the face when I'm jumping for too long. Maybe I do need to go to the gym more. I was lifting weights on my break today at work. I should just lift weights during my lunch break.

Working on eating=Saving Money

So I realized I can save more money buy eating to the point that I'm not hungry rather than eating to the point of being full. It helps with weight loss but it also helps my pocket because I can save some for later rather than trying to eat it all at once to get everything I paid for. It also got me to thinking about my portions in general when I go out. I should have more times than not where I order the kids meal (which is cheaper) than the adults meal (expensive and often way too much calories in the portion).

Zumba: Yes, I'm trying to go harder at Zumba so I can feel the burn and look good while exercising. Half doing the moves isn't going to look cute nor would it help my weight loss.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Exercise Videos to use from Youtube

Some Youtube videos I'm thinking about using... or definitely using because I want my stomach flab to leave...

My Jane Fonda Abs Routine that I'm thinking about using when I get home from Zumba. If I can get the audio I will just do the workout at the gym and keep my yoga mat in the car.

The Jane Fonda Abs

Another Jane Fonda Abs Workout

Tae Bo Bonus Abs

Zumba Abs -Features a standing situp

I'm noticing a lot of them have the some concepts so I'm going to switch it up even though I know Jane Fonda's first linked workout works for me.

Resistance Band Exercises:

Sparkpeople! One I could do at work!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Saturday Night Blues

So I'm sitting here thinking about my weight loss. I've been browsing through weight loss videos on youtube. My menstrual cycle is probably playing a bigger part in my frustrations over the weight gain I experienced. I'm hoping really that the drastic increase of water will help shock my system back into where it was. I need to become obsessed with doing the exercises more than just thinking about it. Here are some of my thoughts as it stands:

I need to find more ways to exercise at work.
I need to will myself to stop shopping all the time to spend a little bit more time at the gym.
I need to drink water like the saying " you better finish what's on your plate before you do anything else"
I need to dress better for the gym (it's not a fashion show but it's easier to workout when people aren't staring at you).

I ate subway today without the cheese.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Freaking out a bit but it's going to be ok.

How can the scale tell me I gained so much weight when I thought I was doing so-so? Even on my bad weeks I've never gained 5 pounds in one week. So it's back to the basics like tuna, broccoli, popcorn, vegetables,and water. Anywho, I've been pumping hard at Zumba and I pumped even harder today after seeing the numbers on the scale. Funny thing is, my pants fit a little looser even though the scale is like Uh-oh. I'm going to Zumba and am going to sweat until I drop! My goal is to try to get close to 152 by next wednesday. I'm really going to drink more water-- it's been a problem of mine. I need to start using my Brita Filter again so I can save some money.

Oh and don't think I've fallen off the deep end. I think the weight might be water retention from the recent amount of sodium.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

My Birthday!

My birthday is tomorrow but I've been celebrating it over this weekend.. I loved my outfit and want to share. We went out dancing and I had so much fun! Only one glass of wine and the rest was water!! :D I didn't take a picture of my second birthday outfit but I will get a picture of my gala outfit for friday!!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Zumba and forgetfulness

So I was doing great with Zumba until tonight when I missed 40 minutes of the class from thinking it started later for some reason. I was even looking up Zumba videos on youtube... which, there are some pretty good videos. I'm going to look into finding a spot to do zumba more than just the gym because I'm getting kind of obsessed with it. It's way more awesome than training for a 5k, at least for me. I apologized to the instructor, even though I didn't need to, for being so late to the class. She was so understanding and also said she'd make a CD for me to practice with!!!!! So cool, because I definitely want to get good. I need to see if I can bring speakers with me to the gym so I can practice the Zumba routines when no one is in the room.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

152 woohoo

Finally my weight is down some more. I need to up my fiber a lot and keep it trucking. Still planning on going to Zumba tonight and tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

feeling pretty good.

It's round 2 of being sick. I just must not dress warmly enough. Zumba has been great. I went both today and yesterday. Hopefully nothing will get in my way of doing it tomorrow and thursday. I will try to exercise on the elliptical too at home. The internet is finally letting me stream video so I've been trying to watch as much anime as I can before it goes away.

Yellow popcorn doesn't taste anything like white popcorn. I think it's alright but I'm probably not going to buy it again unless I have to. Things eating wise are alright.

I'm really trying to appreciate my body for what it looks like now. I have to be proud of dropping like 5 dress sizes. It definitely is easily to fail victim to beating myself up because of how this process makes me realize how shallow people are. I was just thinking. Maybe I should stop focusing on how I look and start focusing on how I feel.

This post is so disjointed but that is where my mind is right now.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

weird mood

Do you ever feel as though you just want to feel like something awesome was going on in your life? I feel like I'm always changing things up but I feel like I'm in a bit of a slump. I'm uploading a progress photo to remind myself of how my weight loss, regardless of how it started is really looking good on me. At Zumba tonight I was feeling empowered but at the same time wondering if the Zumba is really doing my body good. I feel the muscles working but I'm not feeling the results, which is probably due to my diet not being that great. It feels like I eat way better when I'm not near anyone or influenced by my emotions to conform. Sigh. It seems like conforming is all I'm really working towards (not that I really want to). I went shopping at the thrift store (like I normally do because I refuse to pay loads of money for clothes I don't plan on having like 5 months from now) and I was looking at this winter coat. Last year I was so proud of myself for being able to fit in an XL coat but it wasn't warm. Getting to the point. I felt like I could not buy the coat because I was worried about being chastised for it. I liked the coat but didn't love it. The coat I loved I also found at the thrift store and felt the same way. What is so wrong about buying a coat from a second hand store? People eat off silverware at restaurants that have been probably been used by people with diseases and viruses. What is the big deal? The coat was Michael Kors... and it was only $24. Sorry for the rant but I just don't know why I even care because it's not like it should matter to anyone. My weight loss is at a standstill and it's probably due to my lack of will power to get it done right. I know the good foods to eat and I know I need to do more training but I haven't brought myself to get back in the groove of things.

All this weight off my body doesn't change everything. I'm still the same person dealing with real issues. Weight loss isn't some magic trick that sprinkles your life with fairy dust to right all the wrongs. Each pound off does remind you that little by little you can change things about yourself if you work hard.

FYI: The before photo is really a during!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


Last night I went to the gym to try another gym class. It was about dancing so I didn't know if it was going to be more complicated than Zumba. It was just as fun if not more. I had a hard time in the beginning but picked up things quickly with some of the routines being the same from Zumba. I can't wait for Zumba tonight. I need to remember to still lift weights. I find it pretty interesting how most of these pay per training session Personal Trainers at my gym don't seem to want to talk to you if it's not about them making money. Now that I don't feel anxious wondering if the Personal Trainer hound me I can work out at that gym more. I should have sent the text message declining the sessions earlier. It didn't dawn on me that I could send a text. The trainer makes such a good pitch it's hard to decline by talking.

We will see about my weight. I'm nervous. I've been eating low carb pasta the past couple days and we will see if it's actually low carb because it sure doesn't feel high fiber even though it says it on the box.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Zumba zumba zumba

I feel like I need to dance thinking of those words. Last night was awesome in ways and shocking in others. As some of you may notice if you look at my table for the weight loss, I am creeping closer and closer to the goal. I have a ways to go but I'm well over the half way mark. I'm 66% done. I wear shorts everyday to the gym and last night was no exception. This woman and her friend were looking at my legs. The woman says, "I really hope my legs don't look like that" and started rubbing her legs. At first I was really offended until I realized I hope my legs don't stay looking like that. I worked out harder than I've ever worked out at Zumba.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Injured my toe

I totally injured my toe by my gym shoes being now too big for my feet! My toenail is broken in half.. it looks so gross. I think I need to up my vitamin e and d--- Sigh. I bought Asics last night so I could workout today. When I remember to take a picture, I will. Also, in a mission to try to save money which totally failed-- I'm starting to take steamed vegetables as the main part of my lunch. It bombed because I took my boyfriend to dinner and it cost more than what I normally spend on groceries for the week. Sigh. Any way, I'll continue to eat vegetables but I think I'm going to see about putting chicken in my lunch.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Zumba Yay!!

I did Zumba last night even though I wasn't sure that I'd actually be able to make it through the whole thing. It felt good and I had a lot of fun. I actually felt like I was supposed to be there rather than just laying about! It was one of the most awesome feelings thus far of the weight loss. People where asking how I've been and why I hadn't been to class. I kind of felt like I can keep going and that I'm not failing at this. Also, I was shocked at how many moves I remember not being there for 2 weeks straight! The new routines rocked.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

154. Slowly but ok

Really starting to feel better. It's a slow process I guess. I weighed in this morning at 153.9... I'm rounding up to 154 but it's pretty awesome to see my weight going down. I was really starting to wonder if I was meant to be in the Normal BMI range. I had my pesto tuna and broccoli yesterday... It seems whenever I eat the combination of broccoli and tuna I seem to lose weight. I need some better uses for broccoli. I hate always eating it steamed. I wonder what broccoli tacos taste like.

Anywho, I've also realized my stressing about people's feelings is not getting me anywhere but stressed. If they really care about you they are actually there and don't just let things fade away. Recently I've been thinking about how I still have a tendency to put people's feelings before my own in the sake of keeping things flowing smoothly for everyone not necessarily myself. I really need to let go of the feeling of trying to please people. I've talked about this before. It's not a fat person thing even though there are many obese and over weight people who let people walk on them.

If I can make it to 145 by December I would be pretty happy about that. My weight loss is going on a good track even though I bug out from time to time.

Friday, October 14, 2011

thought it was over

I really thought the dizziness would have subsided but it hasn't. Hopefully, I will hear soon from the doctor to figure out what the next step is. This is a little ridiculous. If I can manage going to the gym I will. Maybe just using the exercise bike or something.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

bugging out

I put on my shorts to go to the gym yesterday because I feel like I'm missing the gym and I never made it out! I ended up having the bronchitis-like cough until I forfeited... "You win you win body (bows). I guess I will not be exercising yet again". Sigh. I'm surely going to gain weight this week. I was trying to walk around at least so I would not feel that bad for not working out but I was coughing everywhere. Gross! At least my nails look good. I did them last night when I was just laying there. I also made stovetop popcorn. It tastes better than microwave popcorn a little. Next time I make it I'm going to use olive oil (I used canola oil).

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Feeling like I need to start over

My body is going through so much turmoil that I'm feeling uncomfortable. I ate candy today because it was the first thing that popped into my head to fix the light headed feeling after I already ate my normal food. Why dizzy after eating? Let me mention that my junk food was previously had all been Doritos and Sun chips. It wasn't like I was eating Snickers and Skittles. I drank a diet soda too because the dizziness didn't stop. I'm actually feeling like I'm eating more than usual. Just called the doctor to hopefully see what's wrong besides me not exercising-- that means Zumba is not going to happen tonight either.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Stop telling me I don't need to lose weight

I look at my stomach and see the pounds that need to go! I'm overweight. I can feel the goal weight approaching slowly but not there yet! I need to keep on trucking even though some of my sickness has manifested into coughing and dizziness. I'm going to look into my blood sugar. I'm wondering if my junk food craze sent my body into a civil war. Sigh. It will be over soon I guess. I stopped eating from the vending machine. If I have enough energy and am not coughing everywhere I will exercise tonight after my nap. This feels a little ridiculous that my body hasn't settled itself but I do get sick a lot.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Reading "New Rules of Lifting for Women"

On the forum I joined there have been many posts about this book "New Rules of Lifting for Women: Lift like a Man, Look like a Goddess". It's a pretty good read with the post modern satire and the strength training facts blended so smoothly. I think I will try lifting heavier weights and see if that makes a difference in my weight loss. I really would be happy if I lost in between 20-30 pounds. Comparing my bulging in my future fitting dress to the flatness of Fefe Dobson's dress was enough to remind me I still have a ways to go. If hardcore strength training mixed with interval training will get me to where I want I will do that and keep Zumba for my fun gym activity. If protein really satiates hunger for longer I will start eating at work. It might make my moods better. Greek yogurt dip and some veggies in the morning might be the ticket for my protein fix.

Friday, October 7, 2011

getting over it

Still sick but finally able to work. I'm so tired though. It feels as if this is never ending. I kept thinking about Chick-fil-A and $5 Subway footlongs. Hungry much? Hopefully I'll just choose the Subway because I feel like I make a better choice with that and then I can also stop by the grocery to get some fruits and vegetables for the weekend. Probably not exercising again today since I'm really tired. I think it's the medication I'm taking-- but I don't remember drowsiness as a side affect.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Still Sick

Blah. My eyes are sore but I guess I'm a glutton for punishment because I'm still awake typing away at the computer. I took off work because I thought my sickness would get worse or spread to others if I were there. Anywho I thought I'd share a reproduction painting I did over the summer because I haven't posted it anywhere and I do happen to be proud of it.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


There should be something great to say about having a day off but feeling sick is not fun. I'm sitting thinking about weight loss and my dreams but most of me is wishing I could be working. My one of my fashion icons is Fefe Dobson. She looks so thin and healthy.

I bought a dress to lose weight to fit into properly I was hoping that I'd be able to fit into it by my birthday but it looks like Christmas might be the time.

Something to note: Even though I feel like I can wear more sexy dresses I shouldn't do that every time I go out. I thought I was going to a club this weekend not a concert lounge. I felt so uncomfortable in my club dress. Luckily I had a blazer on that covered up everything. It was the worst experience in a dress ever. I need to invest in more going out pants. I want to make some distressed sparkly jeans. It might be really cute.

My clothes that I bought in August are starting to be too big. I think I should buy more small/medium clothes instead of a specific number size... I just don't want to be wasting money with clothes if I'm going to be hopefully dropping like 4 more sizes.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Feeling Moody

I didn't work out yesterday.. I walked around and shopped. I was in a terrible mood and shopping usually helps with my moods. Probably avoided the gym so I wouldn't have to talk to people but I should have exercised at home. Today, I'm feeling especially irritable and feel a cold coming on. I'm supposed to be going to a conference tonight but I'm not sure if my body is up to it. It's probably all the snacks I've been eating instead of real meals trying to convince myself that it isn't ok to eat Subway daily and eat other stuff. I should have just ate Subway because I was making good choices there. My grocery shopping was a bomb because I didn't even buy enough stuff to last a week. The thing I really wanted to buy was at the sell by date and I wasn't going to chance it. Grrr.... I didn't even step on the scale this morning because I was having a bad morning.

Friday, September 30, 2011

In love with Exercise

I'm really loving taking group classes. It's kind of sad that I was so nervous about trying it in the first place. Zumba is one of the best kinds of cardio possible and now I'm trying step aerobics so that should be fun too. Monday I'm thinking about trying another dance cardio class. I still have to find time for my runs and I think if I can push myself I should be able to run on the days I'm only taking one class or when I'm not taking any.

Food Wise: I've gone two days without dairy completely and it feels pretty good. I'm having cheese with my low carb spaghetti on sunday. I'm suppose to be visiting my boyfriend's family. Let's hope I don't get derailed from good eating. I'll come up with a plan so that doesn't happen.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


So yes they are creepy at my gym. I upgraded my membership so I could workout at both gyms but mainly to take Zumba whenever I want. I went last night and I'm back tonight. I ran 1.33 miles on the treadmill on monday besides doing my normal workout. I really need to make sure I always wear the right sports bra because I think I could have run longer if my body wasn't jiggling so much.

I'm thinking about cutting cheese out of my diet. I'm not sure if I will but I might limit my intake of it because I really would like to figure out if cutting it out will help my body feel healthier. I've already cut out pretty much all other dairy except adding greek yogurt. I love putting cheese on so much stuff that it is going to be interesting to see outcomes if I'm limiting what I'm eating. I really would like to know what I could do better.

Also, is there a limit really to how much exercising you can do in one day? Personal trainers and instructors condition themselves to exercise all the time. Why can't a regular person do that? If I were able to get my body really healthy with good activities I shouldn't have a problem with fearing that weight might creep back on. The new gym has racquetball and other sports. I might find someone to play with. Maybe I will become crazy about a sport like I love Zumba. I'm going to try a Step class before Zumba so this will be interesting. Definitely need to keep my energy up.

Another thing I want to note: I've been having doubts that I actually looked different from the weight loss because my before and after pictures to me both look great. Last night, however I came across a real fat defining moment:

Way different to how I look now! And that picture was while I had already lost some weight.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Getting lost in the work out

So on thursday I freaked out again because the creepy personal trainer kept staring at me. I came up with a plan to find out if he is really being creepy or whether I'm just being paranoid. I ended up leaving because I was so upset about being stared at and talked about to the new attendant like that while I was on the elliptical. My shoes were too big because I accidentally left my regular shoes at work. I wore a pair I used to wear all the time before I lost weight. They are now a half size too big. I just couldn't work out like that. It was only a half hour.

When I went back to the gym yesterday I was determined to get my full workout and I did even though I was creeped out when I first walked in. The attendant was like OOOOOoooh I remember you in this sexual sort of voice and I was so glad I had a hooded sweatshirt on because I didn't want to be stared down right as I'm coming in. I went directly to the back room that was empty and started my workout. It was such a relief but then I just got lost in my workout and did the whole thing without feeling self conscious anymore. I don't know if the creepy personal trainer not being there had anything to do with it but it was a really good workout.

I have a feeling I'm not going to lose any weight this week but I'm happy that I'm still exercising.

I'm wearing this dress tonight to go out dancing. I'm a little nervous because I've never worn a dress with cutouts before but I'm excited. I'm going to get some boots or wear heels with it tonight.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

zumba and not sure what to do.

I love my Zumba class but I'm starting to think some of the people at my gym are creeping me out. I know I pay attention to everything but it is hard to work out when you feel like you have many people staring at you. I'm pretty self conscious about working out because don't like my body jiggling so much. Now, I could understand if it was a few glances here or there but every single time I'm on the treadmill or elliptical you take out your cellphone as if you are taking a picture or texting someone. Extremely strange. I'm still going to exercise but I feel like I need to notify someone if it really gets weird.

2.5 hours so far this week for exercising. I'm planning on exercising at home tomorrow because I have things to do. My biceps are starting to show more. I'm kind of excited about that. It would be cool if they stay defined. My triceps are also looking smaller too. My thighs and stomach are where I really need to build some muscle. I don't need chiseled abs but I would like a really flat stomach. I keep thinking about Kim Kardashian's waist and Usain Bolt's speed!!

Monday, September 19, 2011

New Goals

I still have a long way to go but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My goals are simple. It's to make it through this week with all the extra work I need to complete. I don't think I'll be able to make it to Zumba this week but I would like to. I have to still work out. I would like to run at least 5 miles this week on the treadmill and then also do more miles on the elliptical. If I can't do Zumba on Tuesday maybe I can make up for it this weekend when I'm supposed to go out dancing.

(The picture is from me over the weekend trying on a dress. I'm going to try and use more photos to keep a better log of how I look).

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Running on the treadmill

Dear people that think you can't run on the treadmill,

I can happen. If there practice it can happen. I really always thought that the treadmill was going to be off limits to me. I ran on the treadmill both yesterday and the day before. If someone had told me at the beginning of my weight loss that I'd be running on the treadmill at like 6.7 as my max I would have laughed at them because I thought it couldn't be me. I'm going to practice running more consistently (meaning a steady rate rather than pushing myself to the limit in speed and taking it down to a jog). I don't know but I am really proud. I wasn't even going to attempt running on the treadmill but for some reason the elliptical machines were occupied. I really can see a 5K in my future if I just continue working out in general.



(In other news. I'm hoping my weight will go down again this week because I did go to Zumba before I did my treadmill, elliptical, and weight training workout. I am eating broccoli as the entree for my lunch today but I have other things packed too. Let's just keep it going)

Monday, September 12, 2011

I wanted to show that it's my midsection

left: Not sure but before the weight loss. center:182 pounds. Right:155 pounds.

My midsection is where the weight loss is really showing a difference.

Goals for this week

I'm pretty busy right now with work in full swing and trying to figure out how I want to make other goals happen while still losing weight. My weight loss goals this week are to: exercise at least 4 times this week, eat some time of vegetable everyday, drink at least 3 bottles of water a day, get more sleep, and figure out a short workout to do during a work break.

I'm going to step on the scale a couple times this week and hopefully my weight will continue going down. I think I might finally be out of my plateau. If I can be under 140 by my birthday I would be really psyched!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

154 came on the screen

When I heard that uh oh sound of getting on the Wii I was so worried that it was going to tell me I gained like 3 pounds because I've been slacking with the gym. I've been doing better with my nutrition but not better with the gym. It said 154.7 or something like that!!! Oh my goodness I'm so excited about that. I packed broccoli as the main part of my lunch one day and tuna straight from the can for the other day and it was like non stop eating to me. It was healthy stuff though like a grape here and there or eating a tomato or eating an apple! Huzzah! I'm hoping I can keep on this trend because I really would like to be in the 130s or 120s by Christmas.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

158lbs and Zumba

I've tried my second class at the gym. It was perfect timing too! I was nervous about going to the class and I was also forgot that Zumba was supposed to start last night at my gym. I ended up staying late at work but made it just in time to go for Zumba. It was so much fun! I don't think I will need to go dancing anywhere else if I can continue dancing Zumba. I love it. I could not keep up with the complex routines completely but after a while I think I will get it!

Ok, I weighted myself begrudgingly but was pleasantly surprised to see the 158 on the screen! Yes, I met my work out goals last week and I ate alright but I will try to keep going. If I can make it to 6 hours of exercise by the end of this weekend I will be happy. Zumba was an hour long class and then I did a little bit of weight training after. I wanted to do more non-elliptical exercising but the gym is being remodeled, which made it extremely difficult if not impossible to get the rest of my workout done. I will have to use my yoga mat at home to do my crunches and planks if the place is like that again today.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

All I can say is that I hope I get a great workout today.

I really need to sit down and write down my essentials for grocery shopping because I constantly feel like my fridge is empty of the basics for what I normally eat. I need to keep more vegetables stocked but other than that and fiber bars I feel like I'm blank. I plan on going shopping tonight and hopefully have something substantial in my cart when I leave.

How do you get rid of freezer burn? I put vegetables in the freezer and they come out all icy.

Also, I exercised a bit this weekend. I did the elliptical on Saturday morning for a half hour and I did squats, crunches, and leg ups yesterday. I kept feeling like I wanted to exercise but was feeling self conscious because I don't like the nervousness of someone criticizing my workout. I know I've done well before but it still stays with me. Hopefully it will eventually leave.

I keep looking at myself wondering do I really need to lose 40 more pounds. I have never been 119 in my adult life ever. I'm nervous about being too thin but when I see people not having stomach flab at normal weight it makes me want to keep trying to lose weight.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

I thought I'd add a more recent before and current

I need to remind myself that I'm on a good path because even though I complain and have doubt there are signs that I'm doing a good job. This is a before and after that kind of shocked me a bit. I'm really starting to see the difference.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

It really happened

He had his last day at my gym. I made sure to ask him loads of questions and was happy that I could express to him how his talking to me changed my weight loss journey. I hope that I will get to see him again when I reach my goal. My workout yesterday was really hard but I enjoyed it. My body is sore today possibly too sore to do an extensive workout. Maybe I will exercise a bit on my work breaks (not sure). I didn't weigh myself this morning but I need to do it by Friday so I can track how I'm doing especially since I'm going out with my coworkers tonight. I think I may just order a club soda with a lime.

Still eating vegetables. It's crazy how my body wants more vegetables now that I'm eating them so much again.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Back down to 159

I worked out yesterday and found out my favorite personal trainer was leaving the gym. I was really upset. It's not like I trained with him but I did watch what he was doing with other people and learned from it. He also was the one who suggested to me to start weight training. It's going to be a different kind of environment with him not around genuinely helping people.

On another note: I've started eating way more vegetables and am back down to 159. Let's keep it up. I'm not trying to be in the 160 again.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Omg another meltdown but I have a mini plan

I stepped on the scale last night and had another meltdown (161 pounds and then after the gym today 160 pounds). I guess it was more so because I exercised during the weekend and still am not seeing the results I want to see. Work was cancelled today so I went to the gym early today and had a pretty awesome workout. I was actually more proud of this workout because I tried new things without someone coaxing me into it. I'm getting more and more comfortable at my gym. I still wish that had the stamina to go longer with my cardio but after adding in all the weighed exercises, I'm proud I accomplished 70 minutes of cardio. I am doing the elliptical, sideways elliptical, squats, crunches, bicep curls, the calves machine, the tricep overhead lifting, planks, weighted lunges, and I tried a couple new exercises.

Goals for this week: Lose weight (not stay the same or gain) Try to weigh myself more in the week to see what will make my weight go down.

Plan for this week: Work out at least 4 more hours at the gym.

Food plans: Eat more vegetables and fruits. RESIST temptations of eating all the bad foods everyone else is eating (only because I've eaten way too much bad food in the past few weeks that I've been at this plateau. I need to eat great to make my body feel great!)

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Exercised yesterday and today

I need to remind myself that this journey is not just about weight loss. It's about making myself happy in whatever I do. I went to the gym both yesterday not because I needed to but because I want to. I know that I'm obsessed with the gym and weight loss and sort of nutrition but I'm okay with that because I'm on a journey after all. My coworkers and friends probably get sick of hearing my thoughts on fitness. I am so glad I'm not on a vacation this weekend too because I wanted the freedom of working out without having to abide by someone's schedule. I'm contemplating exercising again tonight but I'm not sure it really depends on what my body can handle.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

New Tuna Concoction and My first Gym Class!!

My latest tuna concoction is pretty good but it needs to sit in the fridge for a day to really taste right. It's a little bit of onion soup mix (powder kind), some kind of plain greek yogurt, and tuna. The soup mix flavors the yogurt a bit to look like mayonnaise (note: I personally don't really like mayonnaise but it looks like a normal tuna fish salad to the ignorant eye so they won't ask questions). You could add pepper if you like. I let it sit in the fridge and then ate it straight from the container with a spoon. Great and not that many calories if you go lightly with the soup mix.

The personal trainer came up to me while I was exercising and asked if I would take his class today. I freaked out because he didn't listen to my pain warnings and I ended up hurting my back on Monday but I tried the class anyway because I wasn't nervous of the atmosphere since he seemed to be a relatively cheery guy. I also thought that I might be able to fade into the background if the class was large enough. It wasn't. I was right in the center and he kept looking me in the eyes during the workout. It was an ab workout session and it was so awesome. I'm pretty sure they were laughing at me when I would exclaim "Oh my gosh you really want to do the planks again" but he kind of got me to push myself further with my idea of an ab workout. I will try to make more time to practice planks.

On another note: I've really started dressing better for work. I mean heels and everything. I haven't worn the make-up part but I may try tomorrow. I just don't want it to get in the way of my workout. Dressing up for work is fun; I'm not exactly sure why I didn't do it before. I felt really pretty. I guess my shopping spree after ruining most of my clothes in the wash really worked out. I just feel so happy.

I introduced fruit back in more for my diet. So far it's working out pretty well. I don't feel like I "need" to go to the vending machine and have sugar.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Happy Pain

Today was not the best of day there was soreness from yesterday's intense workout and there was stress of the earthquake that happened today, which was horrible. I never thought I would be so fearful like that without any real idea of when it was actually supposed to be over. It was a brief earthquake but it was still freaking scary.

No workout today: I was too stressed that there would be an aftershock that would knock me off my feet.

I'm happy that everyone I know is alright.

Monday, August 22, 2011

So My First Push up

I don't know if the personal trainer was lying to me when he told me I was doing it right but I did 5 push ups today. I was so proud of myself and was to sulky (about my weight) to post about it for my last entry. I did lunges too. I was so nervous about doing it in the gym but it was a great burn. I'm definitely going to keep it up because the regular elliptical isn't giving the same burn it used to hence my switching to the sideways version (which is extremely hard to keep up for long periods of time especially after the trainer session). He also had me doing planks. I thought I was going to do side planks as well but I didn't. The workout was pretty easy to do. I'm going to have to remember to incorporate parts into my own routine.

Not sure how to feel

I think I need to stop buying fiber brownies. I'm not losing any weight and I feel like taking them away will help me find better options for fiber and snacking. I had a great workout today- sideways elliptical, weight lifting, and I did a free session with the personal trainer (not realizing it was his plan into trying to get me into signing on for him to be my trainer).

I caved again this weekend, which is probably the real reason I'm not losing. I was doing well until Saturday afternoon. It feels kind of pathetic that I have lost my will power to eat healthy every time I'm with my family. Something is seriously wrong with that I always feel like I'm going to be lectured or labeled an outcast but I shouldn't care because it's my body. The places we went didn't serve healthy food. I tried to eat less of the food but I guess I didn't less enough. I kept handing my food to others to eat. I packed a healthier trail mix and ate that but it didn't deter me enough.

I know there are more ways to measure than the scale but it's depressing stepping on the scale after knowing you didn't do your best. I feel like I'm so close to the healthy weight but I still have so much growing to do mentally. I'm going to step on the scale in the morning and see if the number changes any from just after the gym weight. -sigh.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Greatest Workout

I don't know exactly what part of my legs I was working out but I had the greatest workout ever. It least it felt intense. I was sideways on the elliptical machine- it burns so bad I loved it. Hopefully I didn't go too hard because my next vacation is tomorrow. I'm going to clean and then go get some groceries.

Thursday, August 18, 2011


I know I've been having a negative self image for the past couple days. I'm doing alright today. I had to give up on the fashion show application because it was stressing me out to the point that I was too concerned about it and not enough on my health needs so instead of sewing I went to the gym yesterday. I plan on going to the gym in the morning and then get everything else in order. It looks like things will be alright.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


I started back at work this week and it's been difficult to manage my time. I know working out should not be the last thing I do but it has been. Yesterday I didn't even work out because I didn't manage my time well. I will have to exercise today even if it means that I don't get some of my other projects finished. One good thing is that I have been eating salads the past couple days. Over the weekend my sister got married and I fell apart eating wise and gained 2 pounds on the scale on Monday. I'm afraid to weigh myself again this week because I mad that I can talk myself into thinking I'll be ok when I'm out at functions and then I lose complete control. Something must be wrong if I can't handle my food on the weekends. It's been 3 weekends in a row that I've been off with eating. I'm going on another vacation this weekend and I'm so nervous that I'm not going to do well. Back at work everyone is amazed that I've lost so much weight but I see a fat girl so I really need some mood boosting activities to help me lose some of this stress. I can't seem to accept compliments or anything of that nature. Sigh.

On another note: I am going to watch the documentary: Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead this week when I find the time. I can probably do it while I'm sewing preparing for the application to a fashion show I really want to participate in.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I did actually write yesterday 158

I did actually write yesterday but I didn't post. I was mad that I was ok with eating that much junk food. It was not ok. I know it's not good for my body and yet I still indulged too much. I'm trying to be healthy not just thin so I need to stop making excuses for when I eat like that. What I eat is not going to make me fit in with people, nor should it really change the experience of enjoying events. I need to remember that because I got so caught up in wanting to try stuff or not wanting to talk about "diets" that I lost some control. Even though I didn't gain weight I should have been losing it. I'm not going to beat myself up over it I just need to work harder to find more healthy foods that I enjoy over picking the unhealthy foods or unhealthy portions.

I'm still noticing my body is changing... My legs looked less like cottage cheese yesterday when I was staring at them in the mirror.

I ate a salad yesterday with little dressing (I guess it's a start for trying to incorporate more vegetables more regularly).

Yesterdays Workout: 66 minutes on the elliptical with weight training for the arms
I haven't exercised yet today but I will.

Edit: I weighed myself just now and I'm 158.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Junk Food

I'm still at 159 with very good reasons. I ate too much junk food over the weekend (a hot dog, fried rice, low calorie potato chips, frozen custard, bacon egg cheese sandwiches, diet snowcone, movie theater popcorn, and diet soda). Now I didn't have them all in large amounts but I did have them. My emergency food pack didn't get used but I'm kind of glad I indulged in the foods I wanted. I lost/won a bet with myself so I'm going to be blogging about more vegetables soon. I just acquired a George Foreman Grill so hopefully some of the vegetables will be grilled and hot. I'm thinking of quite a few things that I could do. I should buy some ingredients but I will probably end up baking first instead of using the grill because I need to save some recipes so I don't overcook the food.

Shopping: I went out this morning and bought like 8 new bottoms for work. I bought some jackets, shirts, and a couple pairs of good fashionable work shoes. I'm determined to not look frumpy after losing so much weight. I'm currently packing up all my "fat" clothes to be given away and I'm giving away like 20 pairs of worn out shoes. I need to figure out a simple way that I can do make up for work too. My only issue with my shopping is that I neglected to bring water with me so I ended up so dehydrated that my workout was almost non-existent today. It was like a 45 minute workout in total including the weights.

Vacation: Last year I went to a pool party and felt great in my swimsuit. I was obese and rather large for my frame. This year, I went to the beach and felt so self conscious in my swimsuit that I was uncomfortable. I don't get it-- I ended up feeling upset that my body didn't look the way I thought it should. I think my mind is playing tricks on me.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Argh.. and Greek Yogurt Dip

So I haven't exercised yet today because I spent my morning doing laundry but I think I will after I finish typing. I made onion dip using a part of a packet of onion soup dip and a container of greek yogurt. My parents would always make dip using sour cream and since greek yogurt is a great substitute I wanted to try it. Let me tell you it was awesome-- the only thing I will change is the onion soup mix I tried. It had too much flavor and too much salt but I think if I go to Target they will have one with less salt.

I am excited about my vacation tomorrow. Hopefully I will do a lot of walking. I don't mind walking for hours.

Oh before I forget, The Fiber One Chocolate Fudge Brownies are awesome! Completely worth the little amount more than the Fiber One Bars. My only issue is that the box goes so fast. I like 2 at a time than one.

Edit: I went to the gym. 70 minutes on the elliptical and lifted free weights for the arm exercise. I need to find out what to do about lifting for the bicep because the current weight I've been using feels like nothing now but I don't want bulky muscles, just toned arms for when I get smaller.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I realized an hour on the elliptical is good

I was doing some calculations of how much I actually burned when I was doing like 40 minutes on the elliptical and an hour on the recumbent bike and 20 minutes on the treadmill... it's only like me working out on the elliptical for like 90 minutes. So what I need to do is slowly build up so I can consistently do 90 minutes on the elliptical. It's my best bet for trying to lose the rest of this weight. Also, I've added in the weight training which I wasn't doing before so I'm sure to see positive results. I've got a lot to be proud of. I still need to eat more vegetables.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

greek yogurt and 62 minutes

So today my workout kind of sucked. I burned like 700 calories on the elliptical and did my weight training. I really wanted to go further on the elliptical but my body kept shouting,

"go home and workout on your elliptical after you run some errands you don't have to exhaust yourself. Give your arms a rest!"

Me: No Body No!! I don't want to stop working out!

Body: "Just work out a little bit but you know your arms are too exhausted from all the free weights you've been lifting. Go home and eat some protein. Yes, that's what you really need not this sweaty old machine. Yeah, just go home".

I tried working out for that next 30 minute session but my body won the battle. I'm here typing. Oh and I think the chest press actually works out the deltoids not the triceps. Also, I was doing the seated leg press not the leg extension if that's what I typed I cannot remember. If I can run my errands quickly I should go back to the gym so I don't feel guilty about my lame workout even though my arms are ridiculously sore.

I finally tried that Greek Yogurt thing last night at my friend's house. We had tacos (ok ok, so I know tacos aren't really that good for you but keep reading). So I used the greek yogurt to be my sour cream substitute. It was delicious! It did exactly what it was supposed to do. I was going to turn them into tuna tacos but I was not sure how to heat the tuna since my friend doesn't have a microwave. Also, today I put the yogurt in my tuna to be like the mayonnaise tuna salad. It tasted alright it felt like it needed more pepper but it really looked the part. It would fool plenty of people I think into eating healthier.

Monday, August 1, 2011

159 and 131 minutes of cardio

I'm at 159 pounds and it feels pretty good. I kind of wish it were lower but I ate some really unhealthy foods this weekend. I need to make sure I still exercise on the days I eat unhealthy food. I'm not even saying I ate a lot of unhealthy food but the unhealthy food was really bad like 2 cookies, one raspberry filled toast, potato salad, and barbecue chicken. I should have brought an emergency food pack like I am going to bring for my vacation this weekend.

I worked out 131 minutes on the elliptical today and did more weight training than I've ever done. I'm hoping to see some results from the added weight training but so far I don't feel like I'm seeing them yet. I added the leg press to my workout and stayed longer on the abdominal machine. Free weights for the bicep and deltoids. Chest press for the triceps. Hoping Hoping for some positive results.

The picture of me is from yesterday. I could not help but feel like it needed to be shown because I'm really proud of my weight loss. I still feel a little self conscious in shorts but I wore then anyway.

One of the ladies at the gym who is uncomfortable near me actually did exercise on the elliptical at the same time. She was all the way at the other end of the machines but it was okay. I'm just taking your advice and keep playing my music and try to ignore them.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

So hmmm.

I rewarded my loss by going to TGI Friday's to order my favorite salad. I know I'm not supposed to reward myself with food but I couldn't help it because that salad is good and healthy.

Anyway, I exercised today for like 2.5 hours today. But I'm starting to get irritated because I feel like people are uncomfortable to exercise around me. At first, I thought I was paranoid for thinking it. Now I know for sure that not only are people talking about me but people are really for whatever reason, uncomfortable exercising near me. It's so bothersome-- this is why I was exercising at home before (because I'm already self conscious besides the fact that I thought the gym was too much money). Bah! So I'm going to continue going- I just have to get over that there are rude people there. A couple of the people making me uncomfortable don't even train hard. I kind of felt like it's supposed to be the other way around. Why bash someone that is really trying? We should be uplifting one another.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

160-- OH MY GOSH I'm Overweight!!!!

I was so shocked that I cried. I'm so happy. I feel like I want to go shopping again but actually I also feel like I want to exercise again because I only did like 65 minutes of cardio and then like 30 minutes of weight training today. I gathered my courage and tried the abdominal machine. It looked so weird but I took my time and I think I did rather well with it. I'm going to try to go for longer on it. I exercised yesterday while there was only a few people, which I'm starting to think is the best time to try new things. I was watching the men work out trying to see how I can improve my workout.

My elliptical at home hasn't been used in a while so I'm going to use that after I clean some.

So my newest tuna concoction is Tuna Taco bowl. It's simple as they all are-- tuna drained, a spoonful or less of taco seasoning, salsa, and some lowfat (low everything) cheese. Put it in the microwave for 45 seconds and you have a mini meal! Yay! I think I want to try the protein greek yogurt with it next time for my sour cream.

Sorry I hadn't posted in a bit too, my second vacation just happened. It was great.

My next before and after will come at 155 I think or around there.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I shouldn't have eaten the ice cream I just ate but it was so good. I should have bought the high fiber low fat soy ice cream but I didn't. My body is trying to reject the ice cream because it's not used to this much cow milk..... NOOOOOOO!!!!!

On another note. I did complete 2 hours of cardio with intense weight training. I was burnt afterward and I am probably going to only exercise for like an hour tomorrow with weights and cardio.

I am probably not eating enough food. I was thinking about the amount of real food that I ate yesterday and it wasn't that much. I need to get some more real groceries and enjoy eating vegetables. I only got the ice cream because it was a friend's birthday. I had a 1.5 tiny bowls-- when I mean tiny bowls, it was about a cup of ice cream in total-- less than 300 calories.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Not sure what to do

So I could not complete 2 hours of cardio-- I did one hour and 40 minutes. I added in a ton more weight training today and let me tell you, it was extremely difficult to do any cardio after that. I could not even walk right I was so tired. I ate my protein and it helped me to not fall asleep. I suspect that I will have a hard time moving tomorrow from the intensity of my workout. I am upset that I was too exhausted to finish but I'm happy that I pushed myself so hard. Hopefully it will show for the next weigh in.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Woot 164

Yes! Finally back in the negative! 164 pounds means I'm so much closer to being overweight and not obese. It also means tuna does work for me! Especially because I ate 2 slices of pizza on saturday, 8 chicken wings yesterday, and a whole lot of flaxseed granola. I'm going to buy the Fiber One Brownies if they are still on sale. Also, I'm going to try out some more makeshift tuna meals. I didn't end up eating any tuna on my vacation at all; I mostly ate Subway sandwiches-- spicy Italian BMT with lots of vegetables, and the eggwhite sandwich with lots of vegetables. Mineral water, seltzer water, flavored water, and spring water were my drinks. How pizza got involved: I was wanting to try the pizza everyone one was having so I had two slices from a personal pan pizza. How chicken wings got involved: On the way back, there was a few choices of restaurants. I was sick of Subway, and not in the mood for pizza so I ate chicken wings. It was delicious.

I read the novel Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster on the vacation. I laughed so hard at times that people were staring. It was definitely a great book to motivate me into trying weights today. I added weight lifting in between my 2 hour cardio workout. I did weighted lunges, a tricep exercise, and a deltoid exercise. I need to stop avoiding the abdominal exercise. Bah! My hopes is that I will not be too sore to do weights again on wednesday. I like the free weights better than the machines because it feels like there are less people watching me exercise. I need to come up with a good routine to free weights but for now I will do what I know. I also tried something really different on the treadmill today. I put it at the maximum incline of the machine and walked that for 20 minutes. It was so hard but it was good. I don't remember where I read the line "if it doesn't get you sweating in 5 minutes than the exercise is not hard enough". I was sweating buckets today but it was a great workout.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

120 minutes and Pesto Tuna

So if there is one thing I would recommend it would have to be Pesto Tuna. It tastes way different than apple sauce and tuna. I loved it-- and found all the ingredients in my fridge. I had been using the pesto to stuff with the cheese in the Roma tomatoes for the microwave but the Pesto Tuna is so much better. I wonder how tomatoes might have changed the taste. It was just a can of tuna, a sprinkle of low moisture cheese, and a teaspoon or so of pesto. Pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds and then do with it what you please. I just ate it straight from the bowl. So good. It also looks more appetizing than the apple sauce Tuna.

So getting back to my vacation. I have no real clue what to pack for the snacks. I have seltzer water, apples, and trail mix so far. I was thinking of trying out the new fiber one brownies since I'm all about having fiber.

Has anyone tried the green bean spaghetti? I read on the forum I joined about replacing spaghetti noodles with green beans for the spaghetti. I bought no sodium green beans and low sodium and fat pasta sauce. I still have the low everything cheese so this could be very positive.

Tuesdays time: 120 minutes
I still need to exercise for today.

Monday, July 11, 2011


It's a victory for me since I posted before about being 170 last Monday but it doesn't do much good because I was 165lbs before. I'm trying something different again. I looked back in my blog to see the time I lost the most weight and I'm going to repeat what I was eating then and see if it brings similar results. It's basically a lot of tuna and a lot of vegetables. I'm happy to be eating tuna too. It's supposed to be a fat burning food. I will try the canned salmon when I find it at a good price since it's supposed to have more antioxidants than tuna. I added apple sauce to my tuna for dinner tonight. I lemon stuff in the fridge that I could add to my tuna with pepper for tomorrow. This should be interesting. I had even checked out a book about tinned tuna.

Today's exercise: 123 minutes.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

120 and 65

My time was not so good yesterday 65 minutes in comparison to the workout from the previous days but I exercised for more than 7 hours this week!! I'm so proud of myself for that. I'm taking a vacation soon and am trying to figure out ways that I will be getting in at least 4 hours of exercise besides the usual walking. I think I'm going to bring some exercise videos along so if they don't have a gym at least I'm doing some aerobics. I didn't eat the best yesterday but it was my first time eating meat for the week. I had fish, shrimp, and chicken. It was delicious. I didn't have pasta (I had sushi) and I didn't eat any dessert so at least I had that going for me. The majority of the chicken was grilled and roasted. I did eat vegetables. One of my schemes to try is buying the large mixed vegetables from Panda Express and using that with lunch and dinner.

Ok so some sort of not workout related things. I've been watching the diamond league series on television and it really is getting me pumped again about my workouts. Watching Tyson Gay and Usain Bolt is so amazing. I want my legs to look solid like theirs when I'm done. I don't care to have ripped looking arms. I want to have ripped looking legs so when I put on a dress people will see the definition! Yes to chiseled legs!!

MB if you are reading this. I can't seem to post comments on your blog.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Ran 23 minutes Yesterday

Sorry my internet is acting a bit wonky so I'm posting alittle late. I want to exercise as best I can.... I need to change my weight because I weighed in at 170 monday. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong but I'm going to keep exercising because it makes me feel like I'm doing something for myself. I didn't even eat really out of the ordinary besides not eating fruit. I'm going to reintroduce fruits back into my diet this week but I haven't done it yet. I'm contemplating calorie counting for the rest of the weight loss but I don't like the stress of counting all the calories I want to eat. It would kind of feel like I'm torturing myself with exercise and eating. I'm going to have to do something different because I don't know why it feels like I'm not changing anything about my body this summer. I hope when I weigh in next monday the weight will have gone down. I will cut down on the things with artifical sweeteners. I was watching a report about people gaining weight because of artifical sweeteners. Maybe that will help. I cleaned out my freezer again and noticed I have a lot of vegetables in there. I made some delicious pesto broccoli and cauliflower yesterday.

Yesterdays workout: 131 minutes
Todays workout: 120 minutes

Friday, July 1, 2011

147 minutes and Omg

So I was working out today and the personal trainer I admire happens to speak to me. I freak out because I couldn't believe he was really speaking to me. I felt like a high school girl talking to the most popular guy at school. He said he'd been watching me all week and that I was doing a great job with my workout. He suggested that I start taking fish oil for a protein supplement and that I start using light weights with many repetitions. He was super nice and was taking to me while running effortlessly on the treadmill. He caught on to my gaze and I told him how amazed I was and he laughed and said " You must think I'm a freak or something". Him asking me if thought he was a freak? Psssh. It was so cool. I can't wait until I'm able to run like that. He inspired me to push harder on my running today. I didn't know I could run at 5.6 on the treadmill. I'm in such a good mood about that. $70an hour for him to be my trainer (too much money) but the pep talk was so uplifting. I really had thought they all thought I was crazy for working out so long each time.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

141... tired lol

I worked out again for 141 minutes and it really made me tired. As much as I want to increase my 5k time I want to lose weight more. I'm so close to being overweight I can taste it-- really tired of still being obese. When I look in the mirror I don't feel obese so why is 5-7 pounds labeling me as such. Today was my second day of being drenched leaving the gym. I am not sure why it takes that much exercising for the sweat to come down like that. I feel like I'm working hard the whole time. I drank 3 bottles of water when I was at the gym because I was so nervous about getting dehydrated. Overall it was a pretty good workout. One night I'm going to test out that row machine. I'm nervous about injuring myself testing it out but I want to make sure I'm working out my arms too. Most people only stay on the machine for like 5 minutes. It looks like I could exercise on it for a full half hour once I get the hang of it. I can't wait to get off the not eating fruit! I miss it.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

141 minutes and first Treadmill 5k

Yes that number is true. I did my first 5k on the treadmill today (46 minutes). It was a long 5k but it definitely means that I can do if I set my mind to it. I did the elliptical and the recumbent bike. I was so sweaty I even had a circle of sweat on my butt. I laughed because I've never sweat that much at the gym before but I was proud of myself. I have to make sure I stay hydrated and need to eat less sodium today. I'm debating whether I'm going back to the gym tonight. I may do a little workout but I don't know.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

60 minutes and none and 42 minutes

I went back to the gym last night and jogged/walked again. I'm starting to feel it in my knees. I couldn't wake myself up this morning to go to the gym but I did use it tonight. I am finding it harder to not want to exercise especially when I'm making myself accountable for it by posting on here. I joined an online challenge to get to my goal weight by Christmas. I'm not going to beat myself up if it doesn't happen but I will stay motivated to keep going. I bombed though eating wise. I should not have bought pretzels even if they were sourdough--- too much sodium and not enough nutrition.

Monday, June 27, 2011

67 minutes

I worked out this morning and I'm kind of tired right now but I will probably be back in the gym in about an hour after I take a nap or something. I really feel the difference in my abilities on the treadmill. I'm getting less winded by the end of the 40 minutes on the treadmill. I'm confused as to whether I should add time to make it to 3.1 miles and then speed it up or whether I should speed it up and let it hit 3.1 miles on its own. I'm already at like 2.4 miles on the treadmill for my workout. We shall see. I really need to be able to run my 5k in September. It would be awesome. I ran 18 minutes out of my workout today.

So I'm not liking this whole cutting out fruit thing. It only would work out well if I went to subway every day and didn't run out of popcorn. Speaking of popcorn, I went to Sam's Club today to try to buy a new camera (another story) and thought to myself-- GREAT this would be a splendid opportunity to buy a bag of kernels for the microwave popcorn bowl I want to buy. They only had one size-- 50 freaking pounds!! You know what I'm going to do around christmas time (popcorn bowls and kernels for everyone lol). Just kidding but that was too much popcorn so I will have to settle for the regular store to buy kernels.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

65 minutes, 1000cal, 9.34 miles

So I was feeling guilty for such a lame post about working out for 6 minutes. I had a pretty good sleep and exercised this morning on my elliptical. I feel relieved now. My goal today is to stay hydrated.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

6 minutes

Err so today was awful exercise wise but I did go fishing this morning and did walk around some today. I wasn't feeling that great. Note to self: Drink more water than you think you need while on the treadmill. I'm so dehydrated it's not funny. I should have had something to replenish my body (because all the water just went straight through) but I couldn't think of anything--- hence feeling horrible most of the day. It didn't help that I've been silently stressing out all day. Stress + Dehydration = Moodiness.

I've realized every time I see a bikini I start getting tense like I should be there already but really if I look at it mathematically I would not be in a bikini comfortably until about 30 pounds from now. I cannot rush it but I need to make a better routine for going to the gym with my clothes, music, and nourishment.

Friday, June 24, 2011

So 70 minutes

70 minutes of butt kicking cardio. It's weird and funny to me that I keep feeling like people are surprised that I'm jogging on the treadmill. Note to self: I need to get some more workout gear especially with the amount of working out I plan to do. I feel like I'm running out of workout clothes or they aren't right. Tonight I exercised in sweatpants and a tank. It was a bad idea to wear sweatpants but I did manage an awesome workout! My cheeks were so pink it wasn't funny.

I thought my going to the gym would deter me from shopping but it hasn't. I should post the new heels I bought. I've been so excited about the idea of heels being easy to wear again that my eyes twinkle every time I see a pair. I bought some Jessica Simpson heels today. I even polished my nails as a treat to myself for working so hard.

I decided I am going to try this air popcorn popper bowl they sell at Target because I eat fat free popcorn almost everyday now. It should save me money in the long run and it will save me some calories too I think.

I did excellently with the not relying on fruit this week. I have one more week of trying to focus on vegetables to see what difference it will make for the weight loss.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

65 minutes and 165

I went to the gym this morning and surprisingly jogged for 16 minutes out of my 40 minutes on the treadmill. I was so proud of myself that I was actually able to do all that. After the treadmill I did the elliptical for 25 minutes. Those last 25 minutes were brutal. Interval training takes a lot out of me. I can't wait until I get used it enough that I can jog longer to make my distance longer! I can do it!

Anywho, I jumped on my Wii Fit scale and it read 165!!!!! Yay! I was so happy to see the number to have gone done especially with all the hard work I've been putting in this week. I need to keep it up and make sure I drink more water. Drinking seltzer water is really increasing my water intake. I like the fact that it doesn't rely on sweeteners to make the flavor.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

40 minutes and an hour

Last night I went back to the gym and did 40 minutes or so of exercising. This morning I went and worked out for an hour. I planned on staying there an 1.5 hours but I think I was overshooting my energy level. I may use my elliptical tonight since I probably won't be going to the gym.

I've been eating the steam the bag in the microwave vegetables. There are seasoned kinds. I might go an get some more so that I can have a good amount of them.

I need to figure out how I'm going to pack some healthy food on my vacations. I like seltzer water but I've never tried it in a can. I will look into coolers. I could pack some trail mix. Tuna would also work with the apple sauce in the cup.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

New Regimen: A Year of Weight loss

So I've been working on my weight loss for a year now and am hovering over a loss of 50 pounds, which equates to about 1 pound a week. Since I have the paid in full gym membership now let's see how much easier it will be for me to lose the next 50 pounds. Last night I exercised for 40 minutes on the treadmill with 10 minutes out of it running. This morning I went to the gym and did about 20 minutes on the treadmill and 20 minutes on the elliptical. I got a cramp while on the treadmill so I went over to the elliptical machine. I haven't yet used the gym's pool but I will. I've been debating over getting a swim cap so I don't mess up my hair and have it start changing colors from the chlorine. Hopefully I can start dropping the pounds more regularly instead of a pound here or there. I will make it to my goal of doing a 5k race in September and I will not be self conscious for my vacations this summer wearing my swimsuit.

I haven't figured out the food situation yet. I'm afraid of diving into a different food situation. I know I can make more satisfying meals that include vegetables where I'm not spending everything I have to make it. I need to get a food processor to make some of the recipes.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

10k on the Elliptical

Yesterday afternoon I hopped on my elliptical and did a 10k. Friday night I did 1.3 miles with half of it jogged on the treadmill. I really think I can keep up with the exercise as long as I get over the excuses. Exercising might also deter me from all the shopping that I do even if it is window shopping that I do most of the time.

I am going to work hard at eating more vegetables this week and hold off on a lot of the fruits I've been focusing on. I seem to lose the most weight when I eat more vegetables than fruits. I bought a couple South Beach Diet books because I used that the first time I lost weight and remember some of the vegetable infused recipes tasting good. I'm not too sure about eating sugar free gelatin all the time. I might settle for cucumbers as a snack or something like that.

I read a couple books about beauty. The idea "fat works on other people but not me" was starting to creep in and I started feeling a bit gloomy. I don't know some days are better than others. I'm glad at what I've accomplished but I have not progressed much in a long while.

I finally bought a swimsuit top but it is the dreaded takini that I didn't want to wear this year. Realizing that the bikini just wasn't cutting it for me this year was probably the start of the gloomy feeling and not the book but the top is cute even if it wasn't what I intended to wear. I will just have to make a vacation to wear a bikini when I reach my goal weight.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Note to self

I went to the gym finally after building up the nervousness of facing the trainer to apologize for not showing up for the session. Who is the first person I see as I'm entering the gym? You guessed it, the trainer. I quickly apologized and he acted as if it wasn't that big of a deal to him.

I fell on the treadmill. To people worrying about how much it hurts: It does hurt a bit. I hurt my leg.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

54 minutes

I feel ok about my workout today. I did force myself to workout today. I've been feeling really guilty about missing my gym appointment and have not been back since. I should just go and apologize for wasting the man's time. I really need to get on the treadmill so I can start training to run for a 5k (one of the new year's resolutions). My bikini dreams still look far away but I need to get over myself and buy the top portion so I can go onto the beach looking sassy!! My best friend agreed to do a 5k with me towards September so I really should get to training. This is going to be interesting. I might get addicted to running on the treadmill. I need to get something to play music like a radio or something. The music on my glitchy i-pod is old.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

52 minutes

I just got done working out. I know it's late but I really had to push myself to workout. I even put my hair in rollers so I would be killing two birds with one stone. I just didn't want to be on there but it felt good to have it done. My friend and I went walking yesterday. It was so much fun. I think we walked for hours. I need to make sure I keep eating right. Today at work I tried this pasta thing and I'm realizing I don't like pasta like I used too. It felt weird throwing the food away -- it tasted so bland. It did feel good to eat cucumbers afterwards.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

None on Friday and Saturday

There was no working out on Friday or Saturday but I did exercise today. I'm not excited exactly about my new circumstances of being at my place every weekend because people don't want me around. I'll have to adjust and focus on having fun over near me. The only awesome thing is that I was tired of packing up my stuff every weekend and not having enough time to enjoy my own place for what it is, MY PLACE. My stress level was out of control when I found out the news. I was unsure about posting it on here but it is important to my weight loss because it was the reason I was too stressed out to work with the personal trainer and my ability to exercise freely no without worrying whether I'll be irritating someone.

I only exercised for a half hour so I owe myself some time tonight. I was feeling down today from being unsure of what to do. I possibly should have went to the gym but working out at my apartment is fine for today and I went grocery shopping.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

75 minutes

75 minutes on the elliptical machine. One of my bestest friends called after I decided to exercise and working out turned to being a breeze. Oh my goodness. I was like the time is up?? I burned over a thousand according to the machine but I don't actually think I did but it was fun. I will be determined.... hmmm. I really want a workout buddy so I think I really need to join class when I can. This will work out!!!

Just when you think things are at its worst

Just when you think things are at it's worst something cute happens. I was sitting here all upset about people acting childish and I hear ducks quacking outside of my window. I look and see ducklings waddling with their mom and swell up with joy about life. They were so adorable. I need to see things like this more often! I love animals. I had thought before about running at the zoo. Maybe that will be one of my ultimate goals to run through the zoo as my ultimate weight loss victory. I need to forget about the people who don't really care about me and make MYSELF happy more often.

First meeting with my trainer

So I think I might really have to spend the money and take on a personal trainer. My meeting did not go as I thought it would. I was so upset during the meeting that I was fighting tears. I'm too stressed out right now. This not taking things personally thing from the offensive stuff people do is not working. I know they aren't worrying about me so why am I worried about them? Even now as I'm stressing over being stressed they are not having an ounce of thought about me so why am I worried? The trainer said it's going to be hard to lose weight if I'm stressed. He also was concerned about the lame support I have to workout-- half support was what I called it. I offer to work out with people and it doesn't happen. I know this is MY journey but it doesn't mean that it should be mostly alone. It could be he's working his way in to being a trainer but I might just be buying.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

First Day at the Gym

So I had my first day and the gym in a long time. I felt a little lost for what to do so I got on the treadmill and ran/walked. I was so proud of myself for running on a treadmill in public alternating between running for 2 minutes at a time with 2 minute walking. I felt like I'm actually doing something because I remember when I couldn't even walk on the treadmill very well. I was really nervous about people laughing at me because I was laughed at by someone before while I was on the treadmill but it didn't happen. I didn't use a radio or anything. I just thought about getting to the next step and thinking about how proud I was of myself. I meet the trainer tomorrow and I'm hoping I'm not too sore with all the exercise I'm trying to accomplish.

The next step is coming up with solid meals for myself so I don't feel like I'm snacking all the time. I want to feel like I'm eating at my parents place where they have REAL food. I spent a lot of money on the gym membership so I need to stop eating at the restaurants. I borrowed a couple recipe books from the library so I could come up with ideas of what to cook for myself. I'll be happy if I can make a least like 15 things that I could alternate between so I could have a library of healthy foods. I'll make my own cook book of recipes I like. It might be a good idea to just photocopy the recipes I really like than to handwrite them. Then put them in a folder or a binder in the page protectors. So then when I think of more ideas I could just turn to my book. Handwriting them would save a lot of money though! Usually it's like 15 cents per copy. I guess it could just depend on the length of the recipe.

More Interesting News

I joined a gym with a pool! I wanted to join a gym but didn't think it was going to be possible with my budget but I think this gym will be fun. I'm getting three free sessions with a personal trainer and it's really convenient for me to get there. I didn't exercise yesterday though because my body was too sore from the exercise I did previously on Monday: .5 of a tae bo video, 60 squats, I think about 30 side planks, and some triceps. I was walking through the sore feeling at work and by the end of the workday it was hard to sit down lol. So, I'm going today with my boyfriend and I'm going to make it my mission to be confident enough to join a few classes. I want to say that I've lost more that 50 pounds in one year from starting my weight loss and I have 19 days to do it. I looked at my news year's resolution and I'm really going to be getting somewhere. I estimate that I can get to my goal weight before the end of the year.

Also something new that I tried last night: Stuffed mushrooms. I stuffed some with crab dip and some with hummus. I think I will try stuffing it with both. I'm trying to think of alternatives to eating pretzels.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011


I don't know when it happened but I'm really starting to notice my legs are smaller. It didn't feel that way before so I'm not sure what the actual clicker was for me seeing the change. My before and almost current pictures don't really emphasize my legs at all. So I don't know. My legs are sore from the squats and tae bo I did yesterday. There are side planks and tricep weightlifting added to that. I'm looking forward to using my elliptical today.

A guy on the weight loss forum works out 8 hours a week. It got me thinking do men typically exercise more than women when trying to lose weight? I'm going to look into that. 8 hours is better than my 3-5 hours a week. I should strive for something a little harder if possible. I will build up to a consistent 5 hours and try to go from there. The biggest loser people work out way longer than that so I know I won't kill myself if I do it. I just might be sore.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

New before and almost current

Now you can really see the difference especially in my face and waist.

feeling good

So a few things!

I joined a weight loss forum. I needed a community of people interacting about weight loss. I was really feeling like I was in a dark place for the past few days.
I did a tae bo workout from youtube tonight and I'm feeling less guilty about not working out on my elliptical.
I tried on a bikini top and it looked alright despite my still having love handles.

So my blues feels like it's lifting. It's weird to want to exercise as bad as I wanted to. I need to concentrate on eating fruits and vegetables.

Friday, May 27, 2011

looking in the mirror

When I look in the mirror I still see the same person I was before I started this weight loss journey. I know in my eyes I still have 50 pounds to go on my journey the right size but I'm wondering what I'll actually look like. Looking at myself in a seated position I realize how much weight I need to lose. It is not the same feeling I have when I look in a standing position, which I feel I look decent not 100% but pretty good.

The person in the picture is a simulated version of me at my goal (on the left), my current state (middle), and my start (the right).

feeling guilty.

I did not exercise and I feel guilty about it. I should have made the time. A majority of my evening I was trying to figure in how and where I was going to exercise but it did not happen. I feel like I failed myself in a way by not exercising. I need to fit it into my day for tomorrow even though I'm not near my elliptical machine.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

55 minutes

I'm proud that I did another day of exercise. While I was exercising I was thinking of how I could push myself this summer to take off the weight so I will be fresh for the winter. Like watching movies while exercising and stay on the elliptical until the movie is done. Last summer, I watched loads of foreign films so maybe this summer I will just watch a lot of films so I can just keep up with the workouts.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

52 minutes

I pressured myself tonight into working out. I was laying in bed tired and ready to go to bed. Then, I started thinking about all of the things that I would be able to happily accomplish if I used today to help push me towards my goal. It wasn't bad because I was reading a book while exercising. It just felt like I could lose track of time a bit and done 52 minutes of elliptical training. I need to go and do an exercise video every once in a while to break things up a bit. Bah. Tomorrow I will exercise as well. I will have to probably force myself. I need to envision myself thin more often.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

50 minutes

I worked out on the elliptical for 50 minutes today. I'm proud that I did it because I was debating whether I was actually going to get on from the room being so hot. I worked it out while watching The Biggest Loser Finale. I was amazed at how much they had lost in 5 months. It kind of makes me wish I had went on the show. It's making me really want to join a gym but I'm pretty sure I won't because of the money. I borrowed one of my favorite biographies from the library about weight loss. It's called "Half-Assed". I just need the reminders like I had in the beginning about why I am doing all this.

I'm scared of the phoney comments I'm going to receive from losing weight. People wanting to suddenly be my friend because I fit into their comfort zone of what a person should be like. I'm more afraid of staying afraid forever so I need to continue with my journey to healthiness. I want just keep on trucking. I wore my used to be tight pants to work today. It was a good feeling of not having to squeeze to put them on or walk in them. I need to remember to keep things short with people talking about my figure at work. It was easier in the fat clothes to walk around without anyone really noticing my weight. My relationship stress kick-started my shopping for skinny clothes after the car accident. I did not feel like I was ready but I usually go shopping when I want to relieve stress. I still walk into the plus size stores knowing full well that the clothes don't really fit anymore. The anxiety of trying on clothes in the "smaller" stores is tremendous. I know some larger women get that awkward feeling when you walk into the "smaller" store and people look at you like you shouldn't be in the store because you don't fit the clothes. It was weird when I tried something on and it did fit perfectly. I jumped up and down in the fitting room. It was a mini victory for me.