Tuesday, December 11, 2012


Currently I'm 146 and still trying to go back down. It's actually hard go want to force myself into completely eating healthy. I've been trying to eat more healthy things even when I'm not eating that healthy like choosing the grilled chicken over the fried chicken or buying fish instead of fried food. Some days it's really hard to just make the decision to not eat the bad stuff because the healthy stuff I've been eating except the tacos or fish hasn't been that "OMG this tastes so good feeling" but the scale finally going down does feel good. I've also done that thing where you can take one bite of something bad and just get rid of the rest either by giving it away or throwing it away. The only problem with that is I sometimes try too many different bad things in one day. Bad is also a relative term. For instance a granola to some isn't bad but on the sugar restricting diet granola is not that great. I also might want to add my eating bad foods has helped me stick to this healthier diet from the free for all that I was having before. I feel like I can maintain my healthier food when I know I can also eat the other kind of food in moderation. I really would like to get down into the low 140s high 130s sometime before June because I would like to have my goal reached by the 3 year mark. It would be nice to say I hit the goal at least once even if it was for a short while.

Stomach Update: My fat over my belly button is starting to shrink some. I feel if I were to reach Goal I would be able to more positively show off my swimsuit. Also it's not firm but it is pretty flat for still having some weight on me.

People Update: My appearance is starting to become more normal now. I used to look in the mirror and see my old self but it's starting to feel like it's me that I'm looking at but I still keep pointing out my flaws when my weight goes up.

Clothes Update: My clothes are fitting in like the 6/8/10 range. If it goes higher than that I usually don't try it on because it's usually clothes that are meant for people with no figure.

Exercise: I'm back to Zumba. I just love it too much to give up. I had better results on the treadmill but I didn't like going on it as much because my I-pod playlist sucks. Zumba is something I want to do without really thinking too hard. Who wouldn't want to dance for an hour and lose weight?

Friday, October 26, 2012


I lost 2 pounds not sure but I also did interval training 22 minutes and 34 seconds. I'm so proud of this time because I didn't know I could run like that. I was running at 6.7 miles per hour but it was hard to keep up so I walked parts. Hopefully I can make my time under 20 minutes. I've never run a miles under 9:59 since I was in 5th grade and I was thin then. I'm really hoping I can run. I forgot to lift weights this morning but my body is sore so I hope I can at least walk two miles.

Thursday, October 25, 2012


I ran on the treadmill yesterday and lifted weights. I also forced myself not to eat Chinese food but I was kind of shock how I wasn't even really hungry even though I normally would feel like I'm starving. I'm debating whether I should go out to eat for lunch but just order vegetables. I really want the scale to go down and I think going back to my old routine of lifting and running will help the scale go down. I think I'm going to hold off on Zumba if this plan works because I really would like to be in the low 140s or in the 130s by christmas time. I need to make sure I stick to my instincts and now try to cheat myself out of the rewards. I was talking yesterday to someone about how after I read through my blog I realized Zumba isn't really helping me lose. It was helping me maintain and I need more than that.
My body is actually sore from the running/ walking. I did at least a full mile of running on the 1.67 miles I did on the treadmill and having it be my first time in a long time I was proud. Especially because I was running at 6.7 miles per hour. My hope is that I can run a whole mile like that one day. I had forgot about my running goals. Maybe the woman telling me about my gaining is the shock I needed to help me really get back on track because it can get distorted just thinking about yourself with no outside feedback. Also I bought this skirt from my friend without trying it on first. It was so tight I really want to fit it besides the other clothes I have that haven't been fitting recently.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Omg you have hips again

I never thought I'd see the day again where someone would notice my weight gain. It really makes it official that I need to step up my weight loss game because I don't want to go back to how I was.


I'm not surprised by the number. I only exercised for like 2 minutes because someone interrupted me and then stayed for the rest of my workout time. Sigh. I also ate late and still feel it in my stomach. Whenever you know you ate late you should feel something different because I usually weigh in feeling empty not full. So for me I know not to eat breakfast because I'm not hungry.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Alright I'm feeling ok about this  number. I didn't go to the gym because I crashed when I got home. I slept until close to dinner and then slept some more. I did lift weights yesterday morning and I am feeling that so helpfully if I keep that up I will see more progress. I'm supposed to go out tonight and I think I'm going to try harder not to eat too many carbs. Going to lift some weights today too.

Monday, October 22, 2012

153.6 getting back on track

I wish I were returning with good news if it were about 2 months ago it would have been. I'm slowly increasing in weight even though I'm exercising due to my lack of proper nutrition. I'm going to start tracking my weight on here. I've been doing it at home for about 3 weeks on paper and it seems every time I hang out with others I'm going back to the old habit of eating poorly like everyone else. If I eat doing that I will undo all my hard work. Also I need to focus on weight training. I love Zumba but I'm not getting any smaller doing it. I actually have a real goal of getting as close to 136 or lower by Christmas. I have to lose I know that much but my dream is to get back down into the 130s.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012


I worked out-- meaning weight lifted and ran half a mile. I don't know if I really should be feeling accomplished but I do because my body is sore. I know I worked out hard even though it wasn't for that long. Hopefully I will develop the routine so weight lifting will be like checking my email or something along those lines. It was pretty interesting how comfortable it felt doing the workout even after not doing it for so long. I was able to lift 15 pounds for my biceps, did 15 pounds distributed for my triceps, and 15 for my deltoids. My weight squats were only 12 pounds and 10 pounds for the side lunges. I am afraid of exercising to the point that I can't do Zumba so I aimed to be sore but not to the point of immobility- LOL.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Trying to formulate a plan

So my friend was talking about juicing. I had seen a documentary a while back about juicing but didn't try it. Maybe now is the time? Another blog just posted about juicing. If I don't juice I think I should try planning out a least one meal a day where I can consume at least 3 cups of dark green vegetables. I usually eat spinach when I'm yearning for vegetables but I have to admit I've been slacking since my summer break started. Water is not a problem because I drink canned seltzer water, bottled water, and bottled seltzer water regularly. It will be a race to see how much weight I can lose before my summer break ends. If I can maintain in the 130s I think I would be happy for a while. Eating massive amounts of vegetables and exercising should get me there. I lost the weight for a short period without exercising so exercising should help take the rest of it off. I need to force myself to spend at least 2 days a week weight training.

Jello Jigglers 142.6

I did 2 hours of Zumba today in hopes of helping me stay fit. Every time I look in the mirror I still see jello jiggly thighs and I want to get rid of them. I'm going to formulate a plan to lose them once and for all. While shopping today I picked up a pair of True Religion jeans thinking when I got home they'd fit or be a little loose. My freaking thighs were suction cupped to the legs of the pants. I was able to zip up the pants I just wasn't able to move. There are a few things that were probably going on. One: I bought them at the thrift store so there is no telling whether the jeans are true to size. Two: I worked out right before shopping (I took a shower of course) but my legs might have still been swollen a bit from the work out. Three: I still need to lose some weight. So I've decided that I want to be able to fit or have these jeans be fitting or loose on me by Christmas. I've given up on the idea that my bikini will look perfect on me with my vortex for a belly button but I know a pair of jeans can look good on me. I did this for my Lucky Brand jeans so I can do it for these. Also, it's about time again for me to do a massive give away of all the clothes that don't fit. I keep trying to avoid it because I'm afraid of stepping out of this comfortable zone. Sigh but all is well. This is still the best I've ever looked.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Long Plateau

I'm not out of losing weight. I'm just in a long plateau. My weight is in the low 140s and likes it there. I don't mind too much that my body likes it there except that I'm still not in the normal BMI. It might me overrated and inaccurate but it was still my goal. I've been trying to alleviate some of the pressures I've been having and cutting how much I've obsessed over my weight worked some. I realized though if I want to continue dropping pounds I need to incorporate green vegetables into my diet  even if I don't feel like it. Sigh. The inner battles to add vegetables when everyone else is eating garbage.

This a picture of me from friday evening. My skin is starting to get less flabby the more I continue to workout but it's moving pretty slowly. Sometimes I feel embarrassed by the flabbiness of my skin but my gym class mates always reassure me that I'm doing just fine.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Bah. I haven't been eating well. I was doing better with losing weight not going to Zumba because I was spending more time in the kitchen and grocery. Today I'm going to revisit my healthy food list and go shopping. I started eating like my roommate and it's costing me big time. I've also started having nightmares again about my relationship issues that I haven't been able to talk to anyone about. I can't wait for my break to start so I can focus on losing weight rather than trying to just keep myself just under 140. I haven't eaten enough vegetables. TOM is giving me headaches  but I think I need to drink more water again too. I went traveling over the weekend and didn't bring anything but art supplies so I probably dehydrated myself. Alcohol is a big no go too. I thought having a couple drinks with my roommate might not be so bad but don't think it helped at all with the weight loss.

The only bright side to this week is that my weekend was fun. I will need to just eat better all the time.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012


Yes! It's going back down! Zumba last night, salmon for dinner, spinach and spaghetti meat sauce for lunch... Yesterday was a good eating day despite that I ate 2 large cookies-- strawberry shortcake. I want to keep going down so I can wear my catsuit soon. Thinking about buying the shorts version to it. My sister suggested opaque or patterned tights

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


Well staying under 140 didn't last very long at all. Yesterday I was 141.6 now I'm creeping up. Hopefully I can make it go back down although my eating until I was stuffed like a penguin didn't help matters too much. I got so irritated. I made all this food and he only ate like half a bowl of the stuff and complained about how I made it while he was just sitting there like a bump on a log asking when it was going to be finished. So I ate the pasta and then I ate his too. Mine was with 3 cups of spinach and his was plain. This is the low carb/high fiber pasta. I'm not sure I'm actually buying the low carb part but it tasted great. I should have just saved his plate to take for work instead of annoyingly eating it. Sigh. I still have meat/sauce left but I think I also ran out of spinach so I'll be running to the grocery. I'm never doing that again. Last time I made alfredo it was the same situation of me eating like that. Everything is so much better when he cooks or I just cook for myself because I won't get annoyed. I'm sitting here with a headache. Bah humbug! My stomach is pouched right now so I know my weight is not going down for a bit.

Friday, May 11, 2012


I weighed in this morning at 139.6 so maybe I'm back on the right track. I've been alone for the past week and was able to lose a bit but let's see what happens now that I'm not going to be eating by myself all the time. Hmmm. Hopefully it will turn out right because I would like to be at or under 130 by the end of June.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Zumba and George Foreman

I'm been up and down mostly because my eating isn't that great to the only greens and lean meats regimen but I'm doing fairly well. I really could have been gaining with all the junk I've been eating but I guess it's balancing out. I went to Zumba so far 3 times this week without having to take the pain medicine for the knee. Maybe this means that soon I'll be doing regular weight training in my office again on my break. I want to be really good again. My weight was 142 yesterday but my stomach was flat this morning so I think it actually went down a little. I've been having trouble keeping up my water intake-- it's been about 3 bottles of water a day maybe instead of like 4 with some seltzer water. I'm trying not to eat bacon because I read an article about how bacon can hold you back from losing weight. I also haven't eaten the m&m's and doritos but I did eat sugar free reeses. I wince every time I look at the saturated fat for them so I try to eat less than the serving size.

George Foreman: I used my George Foreman today to make about 4 pounds of chicken which I hope will last me a bit (because I'm all about no cooking if I don't have to).. I'll use it to make "tacos"(my concoction of healthy stuff that kind of tastes like a taco), maybe with spinach and reduced fat cheese, or maybe just by itself. I'm not really sure. I know that chicken does taste good though. I haven't been by trader joe's to pick up the foods I only buy from there like the shredded cabbage, roasted seaweed, and stuff like that. I need to start eating more of the seaweed because it's low in calories, tastes good, and makes me feel like I ate a bag of chips not leafy green goodness.

Zumba: It has been an awkward 3 days of Zumba. Normally I have a lot of fun but I'm really noticing how different I am to everyone else in the class. When I look at myself in the mirror and then see what everyone is doing I feel like I'm maybe putting to much effort into making it look more like dance with the workout still there even though I think that what everyone is supposed to be doing anyway. A lady got super mad with me yesterday I guess because she thought I was going to take her spot. I just like being almost in the corner but still able to see the teacher. I don't laugh a lot like most of the women joking around in the routines. I always try to perform the moves with more flavor each time instead of playing. Not sure if I should lighten up, or just keep going like I am. It would be nice to have more positive acquaintances in the class but I' have a goal of getting smaller. If I play around I know some of my workout time would be wasted. Meh.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

What am I doing?

My weight hasnt changed much but I did go to the gym 3 days this past week. I had to force myself on saturday because I stayed up all night doing my hair and did not want to sweat out the hairstyle. I need to blog more regularly because it helps me focus and stay accountable. I'm such a culprit of sneaking tons of bad food. This whole living with another person thing is not what I'd thought it be. I need to do some real grocery shopping for healthy food. I don't know why I can't just stick to the plan of eating massive amounts of vegetables and healthy food. I supplied a before and current to hopefully give myself some motivation to keep going because I seriously want to have abs.

Thursday, April 26, 2012


Sorry for the hiatus. I've been going through an emotional rollercoaster. My weight has been fluctuating between 139 pounds to 145 pounds since I've stopped posting. I'm not really ok with all that's going on but the blog is supposed to be more about my weight and less about my love life whether it's craptastic or awesome. I've been really stressed about a lot of things but I'm still continuing the weight loss. I started to question why I even cared about my weight or what I was eating or even why I cared about exercise because it seemed like I was doing it for some of the wrong reasons. I was hating pretty much everything. Now, I'm feeling like I'm on a better path. I still kind of dislike a lot that's going on in my life but I'm trying to make the best for me. I need to love myself and treat myself better because I keep putting others before myself. I don't know if I will look good in my swimsuit but I'm going to wear it. I'm going to do the exercises I want to because I like it.

Friday, March 2, 2012


I am kind of glad to see this number again because all of my color has come back to my face. I feel more energy and things feel more uplifted physically. I'm still pretty sad but I think it will be okay. I might take a few days break from blogging. Not completely sure yet.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012


So I'm happy with this number relatively speaking. I brought eggs, green beans, and peanuts for lunch today. Hopefully, I can get through work without having a meltdown.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I know

I know my official weigh in is tomorrow morning but I was happy to see my weight went back up to 139 after eating at IHOP. My friends and brother took me out to celebrate the free pancake day. I didn't even eat half of what I ordered but I'm happy my weight went up a little. I want to lose the right way! I felt more energy after eating. I know pancakes weren't in the phase one of south beach but i used sugar free syrup and didn't use syrup at all for the first pancake. Also, I had eggs, cheese, with turkey bacon. My sugar levels didn't feel like they spiked. It just felt like a good meal.


I think I might need a serious intervention if I keep dropping like this. My heart still hurts. I tried eating and felt like I was going to vomit but didn't (thankfully). I miss him so much and I hate how it taking a toll on my health but it's hard to force myself to eat.

Monday, February 27, 2012


Still hurting. I hate that I've been losing in the wrong way the past couple days. My mind doesn't care for food at all. I just feel like I'm losing everything right now. I will try to go back to normal eating because I can't harm my body-- I have real goals. I want to be in the Hello Kitty Bikini not in the hospital.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

141.3 So hurt

This weight isn't even valid. I stopped eating after my relationship of 3.6years ended yesterday. I couldn't drink or eat... everything just stopped. I feel so hurt right now. It doesn't even feel like today should be happening. I'm under so much stress right now that I want to curl up in a ball. My MRI just happened and I'm hoping it's good news even though it was a painful process.

Saturday, February 25, 2012


I have to say getting good sleep really does help. I'm not sure I had enough to drink but taking seltzer water with me to work feels like it help out a lot. I'm excited to see the number drop. No zucchini yet. I might try zucchini chips instead so I could possibly have taco nachos maybe?

Friday, February 24, 2012

144.0 lbs

Yay! Anywho, I drank a lot more water yesterday and had a lot more fiber. I need to work on getting better sleep. It was better last night but I think it could even be better. I need long and good sleep.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


I think I need more fiber in my diet. I have flaxseeds in my refrigerator that I could start using and I will look up some more. My dinner last night was great tilapia and broccoli. I ended up still feeling hungry so I also had eggs and bacon. I'm wondering if that is what tipped the scale up (eating too much for dinner). I was not going to go to bed hungry. I guess we will see. I had broccoli and peanuts for breakfast and its the same for lunch. I think I might have tilapia again tonight. I also need to work on my exercise regimen.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

144.6 lbs

I am content with this number. I think if I want to lose at a good rate I need to make sure I eat less peanuts and more vegetables. I also need to make sure I drinking the daily recommended amount of water. I think I had about 3/4 of it yesterday. I also am going to actually exercise today. My "workout" yesterday didn't really do anything for me but I will persist. I will need to start doing workout tapes or something until I can get the ok to go back to Zumba. It feels like it's been so long.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

144.8 lbs

I had a good time going to the movies last night seeing the new Studio Ghibli film. It was a nice semi-relaxing evening. I had popcorn while watching the movie but didn't have anything to drink. I'm hoping by the end of this week to be at 142 or lower. I'm going to be exercising as much as my knee will allow. It was hurting after the movie.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Posting because I'm bored

The ground turkey breast naked tacos turned out great!!! No real carbs and it still tasted like tacos. I'm going to eat them until I run out of the meat. It's fairly inexpensive to make them. I opted out of using the greek yogurt (sour cream substitute) because I'm not really sure that I'm supposed to be eating it on the plan. I probably wouldn't have hurt anything considering I had little bits of rice yesterday and still lots little bits of weight. I went to Trader Joe's after going to take the Orbital Xray and had a really good time looking around at stuff that could be included on the plan. So much stuff there. My next real recipe to try is the zucchini lasagna. I was going to pick up the zucchini today but I didn't feel like it because I was not sure when I actually am going to make it. Hopefully I can find some more recipes. I keep wondering if zucchinis or radishes can be turned into chips so I can have taco salad with chips. I also need to find some more snacks to make because I really am not trying to have sucralose all the time. It's not that I don't think it's helpful for the plan. It more that it's irritating to rely on sugar to get this. I want to get rid of the feeling to need sweets.

The idea of being 119 is looking more and more appealing everyday. The party I went too I still felt self conscious about my size because I knew I was bigger than my step sisters and my outfit wasn't helping. I knew no one really cared about my size deep down but it was weird nonetheless. They are sizes 2, 4, 6 and I'm still in a size 8-10-12 after all this. Also, I went to an anime convention and felt like I would be much more comfortable if I were smaller. My outfits would look really good with knee hi socks that don't look like they are cutting off circulation. I will keep pushing to be the smaller weight. 119 is supposed to be in the middle of the normal BMI so I could go lower. I won't stop at 130 because if it's anything close to the size I am now that's not going to work for me. I need a smooth physique not ripples. If I really do get to my bikini by the summer I'm buying some gucci shoes or something with the money I saved from not buying junk to poison my body.


I stepped on the scale and this is what it came up with. I ate some rice and pork last night so I'm surprised but happy that I can just keep it pushing. I'm going to pick up lettuce today so I can make turkey tacos. I will let you know the results. Also going to the doctors for my orbital X-ray so hopefully that goes well.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

146.6 edit 146.0

I am upset at this number. I went to a party at my parents expecting it to have vegetables. Not a single vegetable at the party. I mean not even a tomato or anything else questionable as a vegetable. I should have left to get some but the party required everyone to be there. What do I do? Eat cheese and drink water. I lick a candy to get the cheesy stench off my mouth but after a while I just got irritated with myself and them for not having vegetable. I know my weight is not going to stay but I'm feeling annoyed that I'm behind.

Edit: So I weighed myself again and I'm at 146.0 I am more ok with that.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Omg 145.8

Omg!! I weighed in at 145.8 this morning. I really thought I was going to gain because of all the food I had. I had mostly eggs, turkey breast, cheese, Brussels sprouts, and a piece of bacon. I did do something out of the ordinary. I had a long night of sleep and I also drank more water yesterday. I ate less peanut yesterday too. Mainly, because I ran out.

Friday, February 17, 2012

I tried on a dress today

I tried on a dress today and I thought I would have bought it but it had a hole. Anyway pictures.

147.8 lbs

A new low!! I will take it! This new change feels pretty good! I have to say I actually enjoy making myself breakfast in the morning! I need to start making my lunch the night before so I'm not as rushed but this feels really good. I feel a little more prepared for my day doing all this. I really want to try out a lot of recipes before I start incorporating my regular regimen back into this. There are a lot of recipes with zucchini and squash that I should try.

Edit: Also to note! I had a lemon pepper tilapia fillet from the freezer section and a whole bag of steamable broccoli (freezer section) for dinner last night. Later that night I had iceberg lettuce (I know not the best) in a wedge salad with blue cheese and tomatoes.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

148.4 lbs

Woohoo!! I feel victorious that I made it through the second day but I think I need to come up with something other than eggs to eat as my go to meal. I am happy it's working. I want to add in spinach to this. I'm not sure if I should use fresh or frozen yet. I should be eating 2 cups of vegetables with lunch and dinner. Also, I need to make sure I have enough water.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Day 2: 149 lbs

I struggled through last night with some mishaps but made it through with one small cheat if you say. I found a bag of popcorn and ate like a 3rd of what popped. I think I could so this. I lost a pound from yesterday we will see what happens today. I spent a little more money doing this eating change up but I think it will help me get into the clothes and look I want. Currently I'm eating cold green beans with sauerkraut... I ate it yesterday for lunch too. I like it.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Day one of trying to incorporate the South Beach Diet

I'm going to try my best on kicking it into high gear for losing the 20 pounds. I weighed in a 149.8 this morning not really feeling empty. We will see how this goes.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Rethinking the doctor's visit

The more I've been thinking about my doctor's actual words the more confused I am about this whole BMI and normal weight thing. If I get down to 140 and I still have the shadow of love handles I'm going to keep going because I don't want to see them. I can't stand them still being here. Also, I'm going to try to do more standing crunches. Anywho, I'm rereading The New Rules of Lifting for Women. I am determined that I will keep dropping pounds. I want an overall way smaller body and I know I can get there if I'm determined! It doesn't matter if I have this MRI coming. I will keep exercising.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Doctor's Visit

I went to the doctors and they told me a few things changing my perspective about my weight loss. First, I thought I was 5'2" but I'm actually 5'1.25", which kind of sucks but it makes a lot of sense. My doctor also said he doesn't think I should hit the normal range of the BMI. He has said this before but I think this time he really meant it. He said he thinks a few pounds above normal would be better for me. He said try getting down to 140 and see how I feel then. Maybe I will arrange a doctor's visit if I get lower than that and see what he says.

I need to get an MRI done for my knees. it's either physical therapy or surgery but more than likely it's the physical therapy. He said I still should be able to run in the spring if I do the physical therapy right.

Monday, February 6, 2012

The Move

The move is finally over. Hopefully, the sleepless nights will pass and the stressed out eating. I ate pizza over the weekend so my weight probably isn't doing that well but I have noticed my stomach is flattening again so things look a bit promising for the future. I wasn't able to move my elliptical yet because it was so heavy but if it could get broken down than maybe it will be alright. My body was so sore and I wasn't really the one doing heavy lifting. Just a lot of lifting and going up and down stairs. I had fish and sushi for dinner last night. If I get some more of the fish through the freezer section I will be good to go.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

elliptical:40 minutes and weight training

I did weights yesterday morning and the elliptical at night. I didn't really feel like getting on the elliptical machine but I kept staring at it and thought, What do I have to lose? (weight of course!!) So I hopped on and took a break at 20 minutes to get some water. I think I really can get back into using it regularly while watching tv and anime. Things are looking up. I did eat part of some doritos today but I gave most of it away. I should have ate vegetables again for breakfast but I didn't make enough effort to have it.

I did some weights today and am planning on getting back on the elliptical tonight. The doctor's appointment for my knee is coming up and I really hope it's healed some.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

153 and kind of sad

I thought I hadn't gained weight but the scale doesn't lie. 153 pounds... I feel like I lost a month of exercise. I love Zumba but come on... 153? I'll take it because it means I really shouldn't be eating mounds of unhealthy foods on the weekend and snacking M&M's. I've started back with weight lifting in the morning. Bicep curls, dips, twists, tricep thing, squats, and stationary lunges. I will work my way back to abdominal workouts and using the elliptical. I keep staring at that machine thinking just 15 more minutes of rest...

Monday, January 30, 2012


Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been trying to get things in my life straight with moving, working out, eating, well basically everything. Hopefully thing will be settling down soon because honestly I'm a little tired of the constant go every day. I've haven't really been losing weight but I haven't really gained anything either. My knees are injured right now from Zumba. I think I was overdoing it trying to lose weight but what I really need to do is focus on the strength training aspect of weight loss so I can really lose the inches that I've been thinking about all this time. Summer is rolling around in like 17 weeks and I really want to be confident in shorts and hopefully a bikini of some sort this year. I was just at the thrift store trying on dresses and a size 6 dress with brand new tags completely fit. I was floored I was thinking that it was only going to partially zip up. I think what it actually is is my waist getting smaller and my chest/butt is the same. I'm in a size 8-10-12 pants and it's kind of weird still seeing a chubby person in the mirror. Frankly, it's not only in the mirror; it's in pictures too. I really need to go through my wardrobe and take out all the unflattering clothes and give them away. I've been doing a whole lot better at dressing myself but I still have stuff that reminds me of the past. It would be nice if I was looking at my closet thinking I'm going to be steaming hot but right now I will settle for good looking since I'm going to have to continue to buy clothes as the sizes drop. My thighs are still the same. The ripple hasn't left. I thought that by doing a lot of Zumba it would cause the ripple to disappear but it hasn't. But now that I think of it, if I were to wear hosiery more often I doubt I would see the ripple. Yes, a breakthrough.

I will try and update in the morning about the eating and all that. There are some new foods in my life but I'm trying to think if there is a lot I've forgotten. Ciao!

Saturday, January 14, 2012


I realized I never posted a christmas photo. This is from me at a christmas party. I honestly am feeling happy and not happy at the same time. I've been practicing dances from YouTube videos so I can get better at Zumba and it was making me feel like I really needed to lose weight still in order to make the dance look the way it's supposed to look. At the same time though, my body was looking the best it's ever looked in the mirror since I was in like 10th grade of high school. Maybe even 9th grade. I know I can break through this overweight barrier I just need to add in more decent weight training into my weeks consistently. I increased my weight training but it's not very consistent in types of exercising. Sigh. Just keep trucking.

I was telling my boyfriend today how I have never in my entire life felt the way I do about Zumba towards any other form of exercise. I seriously love being there. It weird to finally have a niche in exercising. I mean the elliptical was kind of my niche to but Zumba feels so thrilling for me.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

size 8 dress pants

So I officially am in size 8 dress pants and that feels good but everything else feels a mess. I'm just really honestly feeling blah right now. Not sure what to do with myself or anything. I've been eating more carbs even though I'm still eating vegetables. I've also been still going to Zumba. The new instructor added to my gym is amazing. I really need to record his playlist so I can practice the routines. It's fun. I'm not seeing all the results that I want to see yet but I think I will get there eventually.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Staring in the mirror

It's become apparent I need to rearrange some of my priorities so I don't get stressed out. First, I need to make sure I'm purchasing more fruits and vegetables so when I'm at home on the weekends I am more prone to eat healthy! I've been doing great for work but I need to keep it up at home better. Also, I need to increase my weight training because Zumba is not enough for me to lose the weight I want to lose. My shopping problem needs to be addressed because all the time I spend shopping I could be doing other things. I love walking around and looking at stuff but I doubt it's really productive. My time my be better spent reading on the treadmill or honing my skills as an adult artist rather than walking around spending money I don't need to. I stared in the mirror early when I started this blog and things changed. Hopefully it will change again for the better.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

zumba, moving, and ramen

So this computer is messed up. I tried posting but it cleared out the whole thing. I'm stressed about a lot of things right now and my weight is fluctuating I think to my making poor choices in food and drinks. I missed a week of Zumba due to traveling but people are saying my body looks smaller. My hope is to really get my weight to go down some more. Remember me being excited to have lost 70 pounds-- it was belittled by one of the personal trainers. I don't even think he realized how annoyed he made me when he told me I could be happy with being overweight but I'm still so close to obese. It made me so mad. Why could he just keep his mouth shut?! Anywho, the new instructor starts Friday for Zumba and I can't wait. It should be fun.