It's funny how I haven't posted in a long time but I still look over my blog and think about how writing had kept me focused. I cannot say I'm in a good place with weight loss I keep yo-yoing around the same 5 pounds. My life feels like a boring mess despite how proud I am as a mother. Trying to figure out a way to get my weight back on track while dealing with the stress of an unexciting life seems difficult.
I was listening to a program on my journey to work (and yes, every day is journey but a mundane one) and the program talked about how you really need to ask yourself what you really want to do if you had the time or money. Well, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now... or at least I would be making amendments to what I'm doing. I would be working close to home to spend more time with my kids, traveling the world, and be my version of thin again. That's really all I want. Not the shopping sprees or the fancy gifts just making time for experiencing the world with my family and being thin.
I've been working on eating 3 cups of green vegetables of a day and eventually once I get used to it I will up it to 5 cups of green vegetables per day. I feel like it's the only way I know how to curb some of the horrible eating. I don't know how I got so comfortable regularly eating foods I rarely ate before like pizza, hot dogs, regular potato chips, sandwiches, and ordering chinese food. I look back to posts of how I used to eat and think if I could emulate some of that into my current situation than that would be good. I also find that the only person really beating me up over being fat is myself. Sure people don't really say that I look good period except to say that I look good for having twins. What does that even mean though? People don't even realize they are insulting me. I even had to avoid negativity from people who just kept going on about fat people and looking at me like oh except for you..... I just want to feel good when I look in the mirror. I want to feel like I'm not robbing time from my kids for working out or wanting to complete my goals. I will try to post more. Maybe that will help me through the weight loss journey yet again.