Thursday, October 27, 2011

weird mood

Do you ever feel as though you just want to feel like something awesome was going on in your life? I feel like I'm always changing things up but I feel like I'm in a bit of a slump. I'm uploading a progress photo to remind myself of how my weight loss, regardless of how it started is really looking good on me. At Zumba tonight I was feeling empowered but at the same time wondering if the Zumba is really doing my body good. I feel the muscles working but I'm not feeling the results, which is probably due to my diet not being that great. It feels like I eat way better when I'm not near anyone or influenced by my emotions to conform. Sigh. It seems like conforming is all I'm really working towards (not that I really want to). I went shopping at the thrift store (like I normally do because I refuse to pay loads of money for clothes I don't plan on having like 5 months from now) and I was looking at this winter coat. Last year I was so proud of myself for being able to fit in an XL coat but it wasn't warm. Getting to the point. I felt like I could not buy the coat because I was worried about being chastised for it. I liked the coat but didn't love it. The coat I loved I also found at the thrift store and felt the same way. What is so wrong about buying a coat from a second hand store? People eat off silverware at restaurants that have been probably been used by people with diseases and viruses. What is the big deal? The coat was Michael Kors... and it was only $24. Sorry for the rant but I just don't know why I even care because it's not like it should matter to anyone. My weight loss is at a standstill and it's probably due to my lack of will power to get it done right. I know the good foods to eat and I know I need to do more training but I haven't brought myself to get back in the groove of things.

All this weight off my body doesn't change everything. I'm still the same person dealing with real issues. Weight loss isn't some magic trick that sprinkles your life with fairy dust to right all the wrongs. Each pound off does remind you that little by little you can change things about yourself if you work hard.

FYI: The before photo is really a during!

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