143.8

I was suprised to see the 3. That means there is hope and I was so full last night from that little bowl of sautéed kale, mushrooms, carrots with baked citrus salmon. It was such a good meal. I have a lot of salmon left too so I will be making something with it again today. I'm learning how to work on my grocery spending and I think I might have to work really hard to spend within the budget I think is reasonable. 

144.2

I wonder if I can get in the 30s. This happens every time where my weight stalls at this point. I'm still highly overweight. The only thing I can think of is that I'm still eating too much fruit. 

No weigh in.

No weigh in for a bit. I think I'm going to just try and eat more vegetables and see where it takes me. I'm going to eat a lot more house salads when I'm out at restaurants now and just add meat to it. 

144.6

Alright I feel content after having my solid meal last night. I did some grocery shopping and tried to get more vegetables. I'm afraid of going to the Olive Garden today. I looked at their menu yesterday and am slightly fearful of what might happen today in terms of them accommodating my limited options. I can't remember if they have cheese on their salad.

Edit:I was reading this morning and throughout this whole detox thing I've never considered the carbs in the fruits and vegetables I was eating. So apparently if I balance out more of the low carb fruits and vegetables I will have less plateau in reaching 140. I'm going to look into the foods I normally buy and see where they fall in terms of the carbs. I will also try to create a couple meals using both low carb fruits and vegetables. I am not giving up fruit this time. I don't mind giving up grains and most meat if I can eat fruit. 

144.0

Meh. Today I will get groceries so I can have some real meals. I had shrimp for dinner last night because I didn't feel like cooking. I think I want to ask my sister if she wants to take the girls to the park today and we could just walk for a bit. 

146.4

Meh. I need to force myself to eat less fruit and more vegetables. But how? 

146.0

Salad is the answer to my plateau? I had three salads yesterday. 2 kale salads, and on dark leafy salad with shrimp. I like how they shredded the carrots. I tried green tea vinaigrette last night. 

146.8

Errr. I want it to go into 145 lol. I need to exercise. I do have the ability to do youtube videos now on my television. Or maybe I should use my DVDs like tae Bo or Richard Simmons. 

146.8

Kind of surprised by this number but I'm glad it's going down. I so want to be in the 130s it's not even funny. I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something with this detox lifestyle change. I was walking around yesterday which is why my body could have been acting this way. 

Just thinking

I'm just taking a pause to reflect on where I came from(left picture) and where I would like to go(right picture). Even if I took some stumbles I have not fallen back to 220 since I started the journey for myself without anyone truly supporting me 100%. Yes part of the motivation was jealousy but I'm still happy I went through with it. I still have some jealousy towards the girls that are ridiculously thin but I'm liking where I'm going in terms of my own healthy food journey. I will construct a solid frame of mind to block out the food pushers and people with their hate towards my positive healthy attitude. I also need to be mindful to not push my opinions on people. I just want to do this for me. I want to be smaller and healthier even if it means not hanging out with certain people and making new friends who accept my eating lifestyle or just being alone. I shouldn't have to justify what I'm doing to anyone.

148.0

Whole foods for the win. I took a little day trip to the beach and I packed food. I was so proud of myself because temptation was there with the aroma of pretzels but everything was not healthy. How can there be such limited options to eat health food? 10 pounds to goal weight! I can do this! 

148.4

Every little bit matters I guess. I made pineapple chow last night as my pineapple snack experiment. I'm not sure if salted cod is allowed on the detox because I'm not sure how it was salted so I may make the recipe with regular cod and salt it at the end. Not sure. I remembered my ex telling me how everyone cooks with natural ingredients over in Trinidad so I started to think of things that I ate over there. Being gluten free/dairy free/process free isn't so bad. I still can enjoy a lot of foods. People must think I'm only eating plain basic foods. I'm going to kick it up a notch for myself because if I have to eat on a limited budget I'm going to eat well. 

148.8

Errr I've procrastinated on making real food in this awkward layout kitchen but I'm making this apartment my home so I'm determined to make it work. I just need to think of the big picture. 

149.8

Lets get back to regular cooking lol. I need to make the best out of my summer so I still have things up my sleeve with the clean eating. Pinterest is helping my find so many more recipes than I thought possible. I will try them. I am starting to feel a little silly about how much I loved sweets because I would rather eat fruits knowing I'm not going to get fat as the result also it saves the real time instead of baking for healthy cooking. Why didn't I think of it like that before? Wasting money when it's already tight on food that's going to backtrack my health goals is a terrible idea lol. I'm happy to feel the 140s in my clutches. Hopefully eventually I will see the 130s because it's my ultimate goal. If I get lower it's a bonus. 

150.8

Once I get this move over with I'm going grocery shopping. I'm trying not to have a whole lot of food to transfer over. My knees keep swelling up from moving boxes. I want to find a home not a place I'm going to move from in a couple years because it gets too expensive. Bleh. I'm going to force my luck to change. I ate off plan yesterday and my intestines basically collapsed like they were angry with me. So yeah, no off plan again for me for a while. 

151.2

What? Lol. I thought for sure it would look like a gain because I made sweet potato fries late last night. I'm getting better at making them too. These really tasted like fries this time. I'm going to practice my curry too. I really want to make a bunch of foods that fall into the detox plan because my body feels better and I'm actually losing weight while being able to eat fruit. I thought not eating dairy was going to be really painful but the most that feels weird is when everyone is eating and I cannot because the meal is totally off the idea of the detox. It's ok I guess because I really want to get in the forties. Lol. I'm so close. 

Things I still want to try:

Beets

Mahi Mahi 

Guacamole (made by me)

Eggplant 

Rhubarb 

Something real with ginger (I made dressing but since I didn't have a food processor it didn't come out great)

Cabbage soup

152.2

I know my weight is stagnant because I'm not eating enough vegetables. I'm going to have some kale this morning after I do some chores. I kind of hate what my life is going to become but I'm really hoping I can make enough changes  so my budget is not as tight as it appears. It's depressing thinking about how my dreams for this summer just crumbled right before my eyes. I need to be smarter.

152.6

I ate off plan. Not on purpose though. I was trying to order something but stay within plan but I forgot to ask how it was going to be cooked. It came back in butter. Yuck. Talk about actually feeling like I was going to vomit and then the feeling of indigestion. I'm going to stick to bringing my lunch. I was not about to pay $10 for a salad that didn't even have more than a regular $2 salad mix in it. That's just ridiculous. I don't have money for that. I'm keeping my eyes on the prize. I need to be more economical about how I'm cooking. I want salmon but I think it's going to have to be a special occasion fish unless I get the sam's club card. Chicken is going to be something I could eat all the time just in different ways. That's the main thing I wish were different. There are only so many spices I can do right now. I would need a mini blender so I can make sauces correctly. 

152.6

Not completely proud of the loss but I wish the stores had salmon when I went. It was ridiculous. I'm going back today to see if they have some because that's what I really wanted. I saw this picture on Instagram that I'm going to share here because I like visuals of what helps. I want to stop eating dairy and grain products as much as possible. I really am just tired of being overweight. It would be nice to be in the normal weight range in a healthy way and for a long period. I need more recipes though to keep this up. 

The detox is turning into a lifestyle. I was craving the pizza that my family was eating yesterday but I'm going to come up with a non dairy non wheat solution. I was thinking maybe a zucchini boat or something with the cheese less pizza ingredients. Not sure.

153.4

I am shocked but shouldn't be because I couldn't eat anything at my father's except 2pieces of chicken that he specially made for me. Everything else I was either allergic to or was on the banned list. If I get into the 140s soon I'm  going to be blown away. It's going to be much easier to tell people I don't eat certain foods because I'm realizing just how much I actually hangout with people. Their opinion is invalid for telling me to put unhealthy foods in my system. No one I repeat no one has the right to feel entitled to tell me what I should or shouldn't eat. Could you imagine me around Christmas time if I were to keep up this clean eating idea? I still need to find alternatives to just eating plain raw broccoli. Maybe if I learned how to make my own berry vinaigrettes it might ease the idea because I remember raw broccoli always making my breath stink. 

154.6

I'm happy to see the weight going down when I'm following the plan. The plateau had me worried. I want to make sure I get some variety soon so I don't get bored. I made a list yesterday of high fiber foods on the detox plan: raspberries, pears, apples, split peas, and broccoli. Then I made a list of nutrient dense food on plan: salmon, kale, seaweed, garlic, and eggs. 

It would be nice to make kale a staple food for my diet I'm just not sure of what to do besides salads. But I like that I'm making different types of salads so at least they are interesting. 

I need to set a budget for eating so I can remain thin from eating properly not from not eating. I will find solutions to my quests. I think rationing meat is going to be the biggest thing because it's so expensive. 

155.6

Err. Yay! First time under 156 in a long while and I also made sweet potato fries myself last night using a recipe from Pinterest. The kale salads are really working out in terms of feeling like a good meal to make and they actually taste amazing. Now if only I could figure out how to make raw broccoli meals that actually taste good but are also on plan with this detox. I want to have variety in my food choices. I also think eliminating cheese and dairy will help in the long run because cheese is expensive. I would rather spend my money on olive oil and better cuts of fish. My life is about to get a whole lot more tight on my budget so I have to come up with ways to save money everywhere. 

156.4

Sweet! I'll take it lol. I finished the initial ten day detox!!!!!! Woohoo! I finally made it past my goal of being under 160. The next goal is being under 150 but also to incorporate more vegetables into my routine for the next ten days. I need to eat at least one meal with green vegetables everyday to finish out this detox. 

158

I am proud of my dinner but a little suprised my weight didn't budge. Maybe my dinner was too large. I'm happy that I was able to make an actual dinner. I split the salmon in half because it was a lot of salmon. I want to ration out what I'm eating so that it's more cost effective. That salmon was $13!! I can't afford to spend that much on salmon. If I had a sam's club membership I could probably get double the meat for that price. I would eat salmon every day then and alternate with chicken and sometimes turkey. The ground turkey is $6 a pound but I never see it on the shelf. 

162.8

Err. I guess it's going to be harder than I thought to get under 160 pounds. I finally did some better grocery shopping so it feels like I could have a good week. I also cleaned and cooked chicken last night. 

My coworker suggested cleaning all the chicken at once and then freezing it so that when I'm ready to actually cook all I have to do is season it. I think I actually am going to make a special stop to Trader Joe's and get some pesto and zucchini for low carb pasta. I'm going to print out a low glycemic index again to post in both my apartment and at work. I need to remind myself about what is going to help me drop weight faster in a healthy way. I ate broccoli for breakfast. My figure already looks like it's changing in the mirror just from me exercising almost everyday. I want to know that I'm actually doing it though. If I can find more ways to incorporate greens into my diet without feeling like I'm weird than I think I will succeed in the long run. I mean I'm glad that I retained enough that the 160s is where my body is comfortable as opposed to the 200s but I would rather it be more comfortable at the 140s

Ugh/162.4

I honestly need to reevaluate my life because gaining weight while I'm actually exercising feels like Im wasting my mornings. I feel like I need to remove the temptation of bad food. Also, this is the fullest I've felt while weighing in but I'm still going to figure this out. I think I need more strength than cardio to actually get smaller. 

Disappointed

The scale read 165... I know I over ate this weekend but I wasn't expecting the scale to jump up that high because I was like 162 on Saturday. I really need to be more careful. I hope that me having a car again will help to deter me from eating like that. My current goal is to get under 160. I'm not worried right now about all the other goals. One thing at a time

7days-Boom Baby

I have to say I miss going to the old gym when I was like 170 pounds and starting to understand things for myself. I'm in the 160s and I miss the meat head motivation. I used to have quotes and pictures all around to help motivate me to work hard and eat right. I know myself should be enough but I like the feeling of having a visual reminder. I need to slow down on my carb intake if I plan to get back in the 140s. I always inch for the non cooking food but I realized if I can watch television I will stay in the kitchen longer for cleaning and cooking. The layout of this place is fabulous for relaxing while working at the same time. 

Boom baby: I did exercise 7 days straight. I made it to 9 miles in about a half hour. I took a break to drink some of my fruit infused water. It makes drinking more fun. Last night I made orange and lemon infused water. I also had turkey spaghetti. I forgot to buy zucchini to make it low carb but the spaghetti was high fiber spaghetti at least. 

6 days

Yes I can do this! I love how I've exercised 6 days in a row. It hasn't been like this in a while but I keep telling myself that if I can do at least a half hour eventually I might get back to how I wanted to do an hour workout 5 days a week. I don't really hang out that much with people and am trying to curb my shopping. I have the time to dedicate to following through with exercising more. 

Proud

Happy that I've exercised 5 days this week. It feels like I'm getting back to focusing on taking care of myself. I watched my favorite part of the Limitless movie where the guy talks about having clear state of mind from a cleaned apartment. I keep wanting that feeling for myself. I want to be my own reward and free to think. Im going to keep it up. I forgot how simple it is to exercise. 

161.2

Weighed in after I drank water by accident. I have a lot going on right now but I really want to stick to this exercising in the morning thing. It's good non negotiable time for me to get some kind of workout in. I feel a bit more energy but I also feel motivated because I actually accomplished it. The only thing in my way is that I'm have trouble getting the rest of my ready in the morning. It takes too long for me to eat my broccoli in the morning and then try to look decent for work. I want to put make up in my purse but I need something compact. Everything will work out

First morning workout in a while

Morning workout. Not sure how I'm feeling about it but I know that at least I feel somewhat accomplished even though it's just the recumbent bike. I have 10 more minutes left. This feels ridiculous but hey I'm being productive. 

162

I finally stepped on the scale this morning after avoiding it for the longest time. I'm going to lose the twenty pounds because I want to be thinner. I like being thinner. I feel more healthy without all the extra weight. So my plan is going rabbit. I need to eat as much green as possible to lose the weight. It's not about cutting carbs. It's about incorporating more foods that will help give my body vitamins and minerals. Clearing my skin. Hopefully making me more productive overall if I can take better control of my body once and for all. I really like that my family is now more interested in healthy eating because I used to feel like I was always gaining weight when I would see them. 

Last week I started my broccoli for breakfast regimen again to get the feeling for the green for breakfast but I broke down at work and had Doritos. Lots of them because I'm terrible at preparing a lunch for work. 

I'm going to try doing some sort of exercise in the mornings to help keep me on track. I need to use the DVD player or something so I don't have boring workouts in the morning. 

Grocery shopping

I'm trying to buy more stuff from the produce department so I can feel like I'm eating more healthy. I'm not sure if it's going to work since I never feel like I buy enough food when I go grocery shopping. I finally bought a water filter system for home so I can stop buying gallons of water. Moving to this new apartment has me re evaluating so much of my spending. The fact I'm going to be spending so much on gas and tolls is enough to just make me want to stop going to dinner. I don't want to pretend while I'm at the restaurant that I really can afford to be buying whatever I want. Maybe this will be the push I needed to actually get me to cook for real since I can't afford to go out for food and do the other things I have planned for myself. For instance, a salmon meal at a restaurant would typically be like $25 dollars including tips and stuff. Today I saw the salmon for a huge cut of near for like $8 at the grocery. That beats buying a salad from chick-fil-a and is only like $2 dollars more than a meal at most of the fast food places. When I crunch numbers like this it  helps to remind me how grocery shopping like I did when I lived by myself was good. Hopefully I can get in the routine of taking my lunch to work. I need to figure out how to hard boil eggs. I want to try and take them for breakfast so I'm not scrambling eggs in the morning. 

Err

Thinking about restarting the south beach diet. It's the only eating program that actually works for me. I feel like I can't get control of myself so when I move into this new place where I have to control all my spending more I can control my out of control weight gain... I'm not back at square one but my attempts have been kind of half hearted. Why is lean meat and vegetables so hard to comprehend for me?

166.4 and thoughts on running

So I guess it's a good thing the scale is going down but I'm still not sure why it spiked like that. My bf says that I'm eating too much but I honestly don't think I am. I'm eating more low calorie foods so maybe the weight of them is more? It's frustrating because I think my eating is on a better path and now I'm really exercising. Yesterday I was sore but still went to the gym. I'm wondering if I should do my zumba class or go on the treadmill again. Squatting has the most soreness. I ran a mile but it was freakishly slow at 12 minutes because I was sore from the day before. I really want to be able to constantly do 10 minutes or less. There was an article online that said if you want to be able to do 6 minute miles you need to be able to run 6 miles straight. So if I want to run miles in under 10 minutes all the time I probably just need to always do 3 miles on the treadmill. If I can make it up to 2 miles by March I will be excited.  I'm also trying my best to do the 1.0 incline I was reading about too. I think if I keep up it will get easier. I'm also trying to prepare myself for not being able to go to Zumba anymore. Zumba doesn't really feel the same like it used to and it's not really helping me lose weight. It helps me maintain weight. Someone should make running more fun. I think running is kind of boring but I want to do it because I don't really know anyone who runs for hobby/exercise that stays fat or obese. The 5k is going to be a big accomplishment for me but also I think if I can do that while running all the way then after I should train for a 10k. One accomplishment at a time. I want to get a picture of me running my first 5k. My bf has medals from winning them when he was younger. I just want run the whole thing and not feel like I'm dying at the end.

167

I'm not sure how my weight jumped like that. I went to the gym last night and did a hard workout. Running/walking, arm exercises, the ab machine, the seated mid row machine, 20lb. squats, and more running/walking. Maybe it's water retention? I went to the grocery also to load up on healthy foods. 19 cans of tuna or really all the grocery had of the tuna I eat. I was able to get the tuna a $1 off for each so I saved a lot. My lunch is still missing greens. I don't really want to bring in salads because I always end up leaving the containers and it getting nasty. I've read before to not worry too much about the scale when coming back to the gym but I want my clothes to fit. I'm not trying to by new clothes because I have other plans. This is going to be a long journey. I'm going to try and not get jealous that the other people who started at the same time I started blogging have reached goal. My journey is different. I need to up my self esteem to the point that I don't need to worry about other making fun of me all the time when I'm hanging out with people. Regardless of why they are making fun of me.

163.8

I would be lying to myself if I said that I'm happy with my weight/physical appearance. My resolution this year is to train and complete a 5k (or more). It would be nice for my weight to go back into the 140s but I'm not sure of that happening. I cut out a lot of the drama going on in my life (meaning I cut out a lot of people). I feel like I want to meet some people who want to do active things with me outside of the gym like running or walking or something that doesn't involve only drinking alcohol or binging on unhealthy foods.

I went for a vacation and looked at the pictures feeling ashamed of myself. Not only did I let the words of the strangers making fun of me for being obese hurt but I was doing it to myself also. I didn't dress how I really wanted to dress except one night and I did the works with the outfit. It had sparkles and I just felt beautiful. I came back from the vacation and none of my pants wanted to fit. I have a muffin top now. It's just a bad feeling.

I started bringing food to work with me so I could stop going to fast food places to eat. Even if I'm buying ok things to eat I should be able to control my calories more if I bring in my own food.

Main foods I'm taking  to work: tuna, fruit in a cup, popcorn, carrots, and more fruit.
I think I want to bring in some salads or celery with the peanut butter and raisins or some vegetables.

Goals:
  I intend on creating a more positive image of myself because I can feel beautiful at any weight.

1. I want to do a 5k race (I would really like to do it in under 35 minutes).
2. I would like to dress up like I'm going out on a date for regular everyday wear because I rarely go out with my bf but I want to look nice.
3. I would by the end of the year like to be creating healthier meals all the time and invite people over to share them.
4. I would like my artwork to be sold to more people.