Back down to 159

I worked out yesterday and found out my favorite personal trainer was leaving the gym. I was really upset. It's not like I trained with him but I did watch what he was doing with other people and learned from it. He also was the one who suggested to me to start weight training. It's going to be a different kind of environment with him not around genuinely helping people.

On another note: I've started eating way more vegetables and am back down to 159. Let's keep it up. I'm not trying to be in the 160 again.

Omg another meltdown but I have a mini plan

I stepped on the scale last night and had another meltdown (161 pounds and then after the gym today 160 pounds). I guess it was more so because I exercised during the weekend and still am not seeing the results I want to see. Work was cancelled today so I went to the gym early today and had a pretty awesome workout. I was actually more proud of this workout because I tried new things without someone coaxing me into it. I'm getting more and more comfortable at my gym. I still wish that had the stamina to go longer with my cardio but after adding in all the weighed exercises, I'm proud I accomplished 70 minutes of cardio. I am doing the elliptical, sideways elliptical, squats, crunches, bicep curls, the calves machine, the tricep overhead lifting, planks, weighted lunges, and I tried a couple new exercises.

Goals for this week: Lose weight (not stay the same or gain) Try to weigh myself more in the week to see what will make my weight go down.

Plan for this week: Work out at least 4 more hours at the gym.

Food plans: Eat more vegetables and fruits. RESIST temptations of eating all the bad foods everyone else is eating (only because I've eaten way too much bad food in the past few weeks that I've been at this plateau. I need to eat great to make my body feel great!)

Exercised yesterday and today

I need to remind myself that this journey is not just about weight loss. It's about making myself happy in whatever I do. I went to the gym both yesterday not because I needed to but because I want to. I know that I'm obsessed with the gym and weight loss and sort of nutrition but I'm okay with that because I'm on a journey after all. My coworkers and friends probably get sick of hearing my thoughts on fitness. I am so glad I'm not on a vacation this weekend too because I wanted the freedom of working out without having to abide by someone's schedule. I'm contemplating exercising again tonight but I'm not sure it really depends on what my body can handle.

New Tuna Concoction and My first Gym Class!!

My latest tuna concoction is pretty good but it needs to sit in the fridge for a day to really taste right. It's a little bit of onion soup mix (powder kind), some kind of plain greek yogurt, and tuna. The soup mix flavors the yogurt a bit to look like mayonnaise (note: I personally don't really like mayonnaise but it looks like a normal tuna fish salad to the ignorant eye so they won't ask questions). You could add pepper if you like. I let it sit in the fridge and then ate it straight from the container with a spoon. Great and not that many calories if you go lightly with the soup mix.

The personal trainer came up to me while I was exercising and asked if I would take his class today. I freaked out because he didn't listen to my pain warnings and I ended up hurting my back on Monday but I tried the class anyway because I wasn't nervous of the atmosphere since he seemed to be a relatively cheery guy. I also thought that I might be able to fade into the background if the class was large enough. It wasn't. I was right in the center and he kept looking me in the eyes during the workout. It was an ab workout session and it was so awesome. I'm pretty sure they were laughing at me when I would exclaim "Oh my gosh you really want to do the planks again" but he kind of got me to push myself further with my idea of an ab workout. I will try to make more time to practice planks.

On another note: I've really started dressing better for work. I mean heels and everything. I haven't worn the make-up part but I may try tomorrow. I just don't want it to get in the way of my workout. Dressing up for work is fun; I'm not exactly sure why I didn't do it before. I felt really pretty. I guess my shopping spree after ruining most of my clothes in the wash really worked out. I just feel so happy.


I introduced fruit back in more for my diet. So far it's working out pretty well. I don't feel like I "need" to go to the vending machine and have sugar.

Happy Pain

Today was not the best of day there was soreness from yesterday's intense workout and there was stress of the earthquake that happened today, which was horrible. I never thought I would be so fearful like that without any real idea of when it was actually supposed to be over. It was a brief earthquake but it was still freaking scary.

No workout today: I was too stressed that there would be an aftershock that would knock me off my feet.

I'm happy that everyone I know is alright.

So My First Push up

I don't know if the personal trainer was lying to me when he told me I was doing it right but I did 5 push ups today. I was so proud of myself and was to sulky (about my weight) to post about it for my last entry. I did lunges too. I was so nervous about doing it in the gym but it was a great burn. I'm definitely going to keep it up because the regular elliptical isn't giving the same burn it used to hence my switching to the sideways version (which is extremely hard to keep up for long periods of time especially after the trainer session). He also had me doing planks. I thought I was going to do side planks as well but I didn't. The workout was pretty easy to do. I'm going to have to remember to incorporate parts into my own routine.

Not sure how to feel

I think I need to stop buying fiber brownies. I'm not losing any weight and I feel like taking them away will help me find better options for fiber and snacking. I had a great workout today- sideways elliptical, weight lifting, and I did a free session with the personal trainer (not realizing it was his plan into trying to get me into signing on for him to be my trainer).

I caved again this weekend, which is probably the real reason I'm not losing. I was doing well until Saturday afternoon. It feels kind of pathetic that I have lost my will power to eat healthy every time I'm with my family. Something is seriously wrong with that I always feel like I'm going to be lectured or labeled an outcast but I shouldn't care because it's my body. The places we went didn't serve healthy food. I tried to eat less of the food but I guess I didn't less enough. I kept handing my food to others to eat. I packed a healthier trail mix and ate that but it didn't deter me enough.

I know there are more ways to measure than the scale but it's depressing stepping on the scale after knowing you didn't do your best. I feel like I'm so close to the healthy weight but I still have so much growing to do mentally. I'm going to step on the scale in the morning and see if the number changes any from just after the gym weight. -sigh.

Greatest Workout

I don't know exactly what part of my legs I was working out but I had the greatest workout ever. It least it felt intense. I was sideways on the elliptical machine- it burns so bad I loved it. Hopefully I didn't go too hard because my next vacation is tomorrow. I'm going to clean and then go get some groceries.

Hmmm

I know I've been having a negative self image for the past couple days. I'm doing alright today. I had to give up on the fashion show application because it was stressing me out to the point that I was too concerned about it and not enough on my health needs so instead of sewing I went to the gym yesterday. I plan on going to the gym in the morning and then get everything else in order. It looks like things will be alright.

Sigh

I started back at work this week and it's been difficult to manage my time. I know working out should not be the last thing I do but it has been. Yesterday I didn't even work out because I didn't manage my time well. I will have to exercise today even if it means that I don't get some of my other projects finished. One good thing is that I have been eating salads the past couple days. Over the weekend my sister got married and I fell apart eating wise and gained 2 pounds on the scale on Monday. I'm afraid to weigh myself again this week because I mad that I can talk myself into thinking I'll be ok when I'm out at functions and then I lose complete control. Something must be wrong if I can't handle my food on the weekends. It's been 3 weekends in a row that I've been off with eating. I'm going on another vacation this weekend and I'm so nervous that I'm not going to do well. Back at work everyone is amazed that I've lost so much weight but I see a fat girl so I really need some mood boosting activities to help me lose some of this stress. I can't seem to accept compliments or anything of that nature. Sigh.

On another note: I am going to watch the documentary: Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead this week when I find the time. I can probably do it while I'm sewing preparing for the application to a fashion show I really want to participate in.

I did actually write yesterday 158

I did actually write yesterday but I didn't post. I was mad that I was ok with eating that much junk food. It was not ok. I know it's not good for my body and yet I still indulged too much. I'm trying to be healthy not just thin so I need to stop making excuses for when I eat like that. What I eat is not going to make me fit in with people, nor should it really change the experience of enjoying events. I need to remember that because I got so caught up in wanting to try stuff or not wanting to talk about "diets" that I lost some control. Even though I didn't gain weight I should have been losing it. I'm not going to beat myself up over it I just need to work harder to find more healthy foods that I enjoy over picking the unhealthy foods or unhealthy portions.

I'm still noticing my body is changing... My legs looked less like cottage cheese yesterday when I was staring at them in the mirror.

I ate a salad yesterday with little dressing (I guess it's a start for trying to incorporate more vegetables more regularly).

Yesterdays Workout: 66 minutes on the elliptical with weight training for the arms
I haven't exercised yet today but I will.

Edit: I weighed myself just now and I'm 158.

Junk Food

I'm still at 159 with very good reasons. I ate too much junk food over the weekend (a hot dog, fried rice, low calorie potato chips, frozen custard, bacon egg cheese sandwiches, diet snowcone, movie theater popcorn, and diet soda). Now I didn't have them all in large amounts but I did have them. My emergency food pack didn't get used but I'm kind of glad I indulged in the foods I wanted. I lost/won a bet with myself so I'm going to be blogging about more vegetables soon. I just acquired a George Foreman Grill so hopefully some of the vegetables will be grilled and hot. I'm thinking of quite a few things that I could do. I should buy some ingredients but I will probably end up baking first instead of using the grill because I need to save some recipes so I don't overcook the food.

Shopping: I went out this morning and bought like 8 new bottoms for work. I bought some jackets, shirts, and a couple pairs of good fashionable work shoes. I'm determined to not look frumpy after losing so much weight. I'm currently packing up all my "fat" clothes to be given away and I'm giving away like 20 pairs of worn out shoes. I need to figure out a simple way that I can do make up for work too. My only issue with my shopping is that I neglected to bring water with me so I ended up so dehydrated that my workout was almost non-existent today. It was like a 45 minute workout in total including the weights.


Vacation: Last year I went to a pool party and felt great in my swimsuit. I was obese and rather large for my frame. This year, I went to the beach and felt so self conscious in my swimsuit that I was uncomfortable. I don't get it-- I ended up feeling upset that my body didn't look the way I thought it should. I think my mind is playing tricks on me.

Argh.. and Greek Yogurt Dip

So I haven't exercised yet today because I spent my morning doing laundry but I think I will after I finish typing. I made onion dip using a part of a packet of onion soup dip and a container of greek yogurt. My parents would always make dip using sour cream and since greek yogurt is a great substitute I wanted to try it. Let me tell you it was awesome-- the only thing I will change is the onion soup mix I tried. It had too much flavor and too much salt but I think if I go to Target they will have one with less salt.

I am excited about my vacation tomorrow. Hopefully I will do a lot of walking. I don't mind walking for hours.

Oh before I forget, The Fiber One Chocolate Fudge Brownies are awesome! Completely worth the little amount more than the Fiber One Bars. My only issue is that the box goes so fast. I like 2 at a time than one.

Edit: I went to the gym. 70 minutes on the elliptical and lifted free weights for the arm exercise. I need to find out what to do about lifting for the bicep because the current weight I've been using feels like nothing now but I don't want bulky muscles, just toned arms for when I get smaller.

I realized an hour on the elliptical is good

I was doing some calculations of how much I actually burned when I was doing like 40 minutes on the elliptical and an hour on the recumbent bike and 20 minutes on the treadmill... it's only like me working out on the elliptical for like 90 minutes. So what I need to do is slowly build up so I can consistently do 90 minutes on the elliptical. It's my best bet for trying to lose the rest of this weight. Also, I've added in the weight training which I wasn't doing before so I'm sure to see positive results. I've got a lot to be proud of. I still need to eat more vegetables.

greek yogurt and 62 minutes

So today my workout kind of sucked. I burned like 700 calories on the elliptical and did my weight training. I really wanted to go further on the elliptical but my body kept shouting,

"go home and workout on your elliptical after you run some errands you don't have to exhaust yourself. Give your arms a rest!"

Me: No Body No!! I don't want to stop working out!

Body: "Just work out a little bit but you know your arms are too exhausted from all the free weights you've been lifting. Go home and eat some protein. Yes, that's what you really need not this sweaty old machine. Yeah, just go home".

I tried working out for that next 30 minute session but my body won the battle. I'm here typing. Oh and I think the chest press actually works out the deltoids not the triceps. Also, I was doing the seated leg press not the leg extension if that's what I typed I cannot remember. If I can run my errands quickly I should go back to the gym so I don't feel guilty about my lame workout even though my arms are ridiculously sore.


I finally tried that Greek Yogurt thing last night at my friend's house. We had tacos (ok ok, so I know tacos aren't really that good for you but keep reading). So I used the greek yogurt to be my sour cream substitute. It was delicious! It did exactly what it was supposed to do. I was going to turn them into tuna tacos but I was not sure how to heat the tuna since my friend doesn't have a microwave. Also, today I put the yogurt in my tuna to be like the mayonnaise tuna salad. It tasted alright it felt like it needed more pepper but it really looked the part. It would fool plenty of people I think into eating healthier.

159 and 131 minutes of cardio

I'm at 159 pounds and it feels pretty good. I kind of wish it were lower but I ate some really unhealthy foods this weekend. I need to make sure I still exercise on the days I eat unhealthy food. I'm not even saying I ate a lot of unhealthy food but the unhealthy food was really bad like 2 cookies, one raspberry filled toast, potato salad, and barbecue chicken. I should have brought an emergency food pack like I am going to bring for my vacation this weekend.

I worked out 131 minutes on the elliptical today and did more weight training than I've ever done. I'm hoping to see some results from the added weight training but so far I don't feel like I'm seeing them yet. I added the leg press to my workout and stayed longer on the abdominal machine. Free weights for the bicep and deltoids. Chest press for the triceps. Hoping Hoping for some positive results.

The picture of me is from yesterday. I could not help but feel like it needed to be shown because I'm really proud of my weight loss. I still feel a little self conscious in shorts but I wore then anyway.

One of the ladies at the gym who is uncomfortable near me actually did exercise on the elliptical at the same time. She was all the way at the other end of the machines but it was okay. I'm just taking your advice and keep playing my music and try to ignore them.