Ok.... my birthday is coming.

I wasn't too sure whether I was going to post about my birthday but it is coming up. I made a picture to help me get excited about it and couldn't wait to post it. It was made from photoshop-- inspired from a tutorial I saw on Craftster.org. I need to find some new websites to look at art.

Not sure what to say= Long post

I miss working out on my recumbent bike. Being sick all week was awful. I'm at my boyfriend's place wishing I was at mine using my recumbent bike.

61 more pounds until I reach my goal weight. I feel like I should have something to celebrate having reached a third of my goal. When I look in the mirror especially at my arms I often think I, yes, can afford to lose more weight than stay the same. I am making better choices with food and drinking water most of the time. There are times when I'm proud of myself and times of self loathig. Sometimes I feel like 30 pounds is nothing and 60 pounds is the real time to boast. I looked back at pictures from my heaviest point and had no idea that my face was that chubby or that I was oblivious to my weight increasing besides the tightening of my pants. I used to complain of my clothes shrinking not realizing it was me ballooning out of proportion. Sigh.

I did make a video for Sun Ah Jewelry recently. If you haven't seen it you should check it out. Little Bird Falls in Love I'm extremely proud of this commercial but I think it also shows that I have dedication to not just losing weight but also to making art.

I decided after replaying my goals/wants for myself that I'm going to sew a dress for myself. It may not be as fancy as the one I designed but I think it will look cute. I am afraid of making dresses for myself because my chest being so large but I think it will work out. I took the bottom part of a EGL dress and spliced it with the top part of a prom dress. I think I will change the fabrics and color a bit but that is the idea. I don't care if I'm plus size or not when I wear it because it is cute to me.

I also made a video for my Visions Talent First Days of School. I am pleased with this video as well. It is a different style than the other video and it actually was made before the one for Sun Ah Jewelry.



On another note: things I do to remind me I'm losing weight:
Exercise equipment in the living room
Virtual weightloss pictures as computer background
Notes on the refrigerator
Notes on the corkboard next to the calendar
Picture of vegetables hanging above the bed
Picture of fruit hanging in the kitchen
Going to the grocery to buy 3 liter bottled waters and fruit
Going to restaurants like panera and ordering soup or salads for dinner
Wearing comfortable shoes at work so I can move around more

191

Yes. I'm at 191 surprisingly because I didn't "work out" per see but I did try to move around a lot. I'm sick so I'll this this post short. It feels good to be at this weight right now. Hopefully I'll continue to go down at a steady pace and be 170 soon.

Meh

So I got a little more sleep than the night before but no workout. Not really that much time. I spent about 3 or 4 of my waking hours in a car. When I finally reached home I felt like hibernating. I'm behind at work and things I want to do still. Going to fix some stuff right now.

No workout and no sleep

I am not managing my time well enough it seems. I was planning on going to bed around 8 or 9 last night so I could get up at 4 this morning. I had been putting off doing my laundry because other things would come up and it was cost effective (money wise) just to wait until I had enough to make two full loads of laundry. I don't know what time I starting washing my clothes but I ended up working well into the late evening trying to put away my clothes. Needless to say I did not work out and also had to rush this morning to prepare my place for the pest control people to come. Hopefully I'll really be able to eat in my place again. I'm tired of so much shopping.

I'm backed up at work. I thought I was planning well but apparently not. I think I need to move a computer so people don't have a chance to ask me to make art for them. I feel like I'm a sucker for taking on too much work. I will figure things out and try not to complain since I must be the one creating the problem.

I also ate pizza yesterday out of craving and the need for calories. I think my stomach hated me for it though.

I havent

I haven't posted or exercised that much in a while. I exercised yesterday for an hour and a few days ago I was walking for hours. My boyfriend doesn't count shopping and walking through the mall for hours as exercising. Well I do because the next day my legs were hurting. Sigh. I know I'm going to be exercising this week since my boyfriend is over for the next couple days. He hovers over me when I'm exercising every once in a while pretending like he isn't checking how long I'm exercising for when it's obvious what he's doing.

It actually looks like I might have lost weight even "without" exercising probably from my not really eating after 6 rule. Some days it is more closer to 7 but I don't think I've eaten a real meal after 7 in a long time. I'll get around to weighing myself after exercising a few more times.

Destressing

Work was beyond stressing today. It was an overload of stress that ended up affecting my ride home, my appetite, basically my desire to do anything but sleep. I can't let myself get stressed out at work. It doesn't need to happen especially when it was going so smooth. I had contemplated just going to sleep for the rest of the evening until I received a random text from my coworker asking if I was ok. After a few texts it started to sink in how much I was letting the situation win over the desires to be happy.

I had really wanted to try the new Spicy Chick-fil-a food since I had a coupon to get one free. I surprised myself when I didn't eat all the food and I took off most of the bread to the sandwich. I was so proud because I used to eat all of the food that was given to me no matter if it was too much food or not.

I bought a lottery ticket. It wasn't so much that I needed to buy the ticket. I just wanted something new to look forward to. It would be nice to win but the suspense of the drawing got me excited.

I ordered some tv shows from the library to watch while I workout.

Fiber One

I really think fiber is an important thing to have on a daily basis so I did a taste test today with the Fiber One "Oats and Chocolate" to Target's store brand version. Fiber One tasted more natural than Target's but they both tasted alright in the first place. Fiber One's bar is only a few cents more in comparison so I think I'll be getting more of the Fiber One bars.

I always feel like I have much more to say than I actually post like how I looked at the Kim Khardashian workout video only to realize in the behind the scenes (that I watched before attempting anything) that I needed a step in order to do the workout (which, I don't have). Or how I don't eat food from my refrigerator because I the random bug problem that sprung up. I can't leave food that involves oats or flour in the refrigerator or near the sink for more than 5 minutes. I have ended up purchasing all of my fruits or vegetables on my way to work and resorted to eating out most nights to not have the pest issues. It's quite bothersome but it keeps me from eating loads of carbs because I can't really have it at my place any more. I drink mostly water partially because tea also attracts them and so does fruit juice. I might become obsessive about trying the double lock baggie thing so I can start keeping fruits in my fridge again.

Other things that have come up... Even though the numbers aren't changing that fast almost all of my pants don't fit anymore and some of my shirts are a lot looser. I am still wearing the same pants to work because I don't feel like buying new clothes only to have them not fit later. It's like I need loads of stretchy clothes so I can have them longer.

I've also stopped reading to many weight loss stories. They would usually get me sad and then angry that people go through this. I've been basically just looking at my how to draw manga books in order to help with drawing the chibis for the blog. I've been learning a lot from them I think the drawings are becoming more and more complex. I'm excited to find some books about backgrounds and environment.

I feel like I need to make some extra money to support my weight loss ventures. I still think I could sell paintings on the side but they would have to be small like 16x20 in. or smaller so I could sell them for a reasonable price. Meh.

Zoo

My sister and I went to the zoo yesterday. It was such a cool experience and such a workout. I should have prepared a bag of snacks too before I went too. I felt like I sidetracked a little and need to focus. I need to get a good cross body bag that can hold snacks and things for my frequent travels but not make me feel cluttered or like a nomad.

Weighed again: 193

Alright so I knew I had to beef up my workout because I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend the other day so I used the elliptical in conjunction with the recumbent bike. Using the elliptical was the hardest part of the workout probably I'm burning the calories like 7 times as fast as I would on the recumbent bike. I used the bike for 50 minutes and used the elliptical for 14 minutes. Eventually I want to be able to do half and half but for right now I'm not feeling like I'm ready.

Totally surprised myself by my weigh in. I thought I would weigh the same or more since the dinner I ate with my boyfriend the other day was well over 1500 calories. I weighed 193 and I am proud. I feel happy that as long as I maintain exercising it's ok to eat at restaurants occasionally. I wondered what the drop would have been if I didn't eat at the restaurant but I'm happy I'm exercising every night.

I really want to look good at the holiday parties this year so I'm going to fight the temptations of having too much food over the holidays.

Harder than I thought

So my boyfriend and I go into GNC last night because he is trying to gain weight and I'm looking at all these women pills thinking, "Am I supposed to actually take a pill or vitamin to help me" or is it really a placebo to get me to workout and eat right. I've already lost enough weight the right way to know I don't necessarily need one. He wants to build weight for his jiu jitsu tournaments. I was worried that the protein stuff would effect him too much but supposedly it's not too bad for you.

I tried to use both my elliptical and bike last night after going to out to eat. I know the elliptical burns more calories so I felt like I had to use it since I ate so many calories last night. It was a weird feeling trying to workout with someone else in the room. I usually ask people to leave the room while I'm working out because it freaks me out but I let him stay. While I was on the elliptical, he was on the recumbent bike. It was weird but ok at the same time.

Last night my boyfriend said he would give me an I-Pod touch when I get to 170lbs as a reward for my successes and he said he would buy me a videogame or dvd when I reach 180lbs. He really wants to be apart of the weight loss in some way. I'm hoping getting to 170 is as smooth as I plan. I feel like maybe I need to look up some work out plans too. I'm going to stick to my machines and build up a tolerance for burning more calories.

Working out

So I worked out last night for I think an hour and 10 minutes but it could have been longer because my timer had to be reset after I took my water break. Hopefully I can keep this up. I really want to eat meat! But I will eat it sparingly. I also want to do my hair in a new style. Since I started losing weight I have been taking more pride in my appearance. I really want to have a trendy hairstyle. My self-esteem has been lifted with how my pants are feeling looser everyday but I'm not buying new clothes anymore except sweaters and coats until I lose a lot more weight. My new prom plans need to start being hashed out so I can have the best time possible. I also need to sell some artwork to help fund some of my plans. Adventure pictures to come.


Also I weighed myself on monday. I am back at 194. I had went up to 196 from eating the baby back ribs and cake and other stuff but the little workouts that I did last week took me down 2 pounds. Hopefully I can lose another 2 pounds this week with eating much healthier.

Bah Humbug.

Working out for an hour is now surprisingly easy! It went by in no time at all. I took a couple minute break at a half hour to drink some water. This shouldn't be that hard to reach my goal. I keep staring at my elliptical knowing I would be burning more calories if I worked out on it so I think I'll try to work out a couple minutes in the morning on it and then use my recumbent when I'm home from work.

I have to admit yesterday at work, my coworker casually said that she thought this woman who lost tons of weight-- I think like 150 pounds in 3 years was anorexic.. I was offended... You can lose even more weight than that in 3 years without being anorexic... and it made it worse that the person who said this has been skinny all their life and doesn't know the feeling of being fat. There was also the implication that I'm ridiculous fat. I'm obese not ridiculously fat. My BMI is getting closer and closer to overweight. I will not let ignorant comments get me down. If I can stay on track I will be considered overweight by February!

it's unusual

I came across a picture of me from my previous weight loss and I looked good. I am going to frame it and put it in front of the television to remind me of my goals. My prom pictures were also in the same area as my weight loss picture. I actually did not look bad; I just didn't look like I was going to a prom. It looked more like I was going to a winter event and had big hair.

And, Yes! I finally have my camera back! It has been missing since April and it was finally found yesterday along with all the photos.

Recumbent Bike and Sickness

Surprisingly using the recumbent bike while I was sick helped out a lot. My max workout for the week was last night for an hour and some change. It was easy to do the recumbent bike for an hour while watching my usual shows. One full episode basically completed my workout. I'm going to keep up my exercises for next week hoping to see positive results from working out. I think I want to use my elliptical more while still using my recumbent bike.

Greatest feeling in along time with clothes. I was wearing my boots that were tight last year and I was able to go the whole day at work wearing the boots. It was so cool. I can't wait until I reach 160 pounds because I will feel more free!