Back down to 159

I worked out yesterday and found out my favorite personal trainer was leaving the gym. I was really upset. It's not like I trained with him but I did watch what he was doing with other people and learned from it. He also was the one who suggested to me to start weight training. It's going to be a different kind of environment with him not around genuinely helping people.

On another note: I've started eating way more vegetables and am back down to 159. Let's keep it up. I'm not trying to be in the 160 again.

Omg another meltdown but I have a mini plan

I stepped on the scale last night and had another meltdown (161 pounds and then after the gym today 160 pounds). I guess it was more so because I exercised during the weekend and still am not seeing the results I want to see. Work was cancelled today so I went to the gym early today and had a pretty awesome workout. I was actually more proud of this workout because I tried new things without someone coaxing me into it. I'm getting more and more comfortable at my gym. I still wish that had the stamina to go longer with my cardio but after adding in all the weighed exercises, I'm proud I accomplished 70 minutes of cardio. I am doing the elliptical, sideways elliptical, squats, crunches, bicep curls, the calves machine, the tricep overhead lifting, planks, weighted lunges, and I tried a couple new exercises.

Goals for this week: Lose weight (not stay the same or gain) Try to weigh myself more in the week to see what will make my weight go down.

Plan for this week: Work out at least 4 more hours at the gym.

Food plans: Eat more vegetables and fruits. RESIST temptations of eating all the bad foods everyone else is eating (only because I've eaten way too much bad food in the past few weeks that I've been at this plateau. I need to eat great to make my body feel great!)

Exercised yesterday and today

I need to remind myself that this journey is not just about weight loss. It's about making myself happy in whatever I do. I went to the gym both yesterday not because I needed to but because I want to. I know that I'm obsessed with the gym and weight loss and sort of nutrition but I'm okay with that because I'm on a journey after all. My coworkers and friends probably get sick of hearing my thoughts on fitness. I am so glad I'm not on a vacation this weekend too because I wanted the freedom of working out without having to abide by someone's schedule. I'm contemplating exercising again tonight but I'm not sure it really depends on what my body can handle.

New Tuna Concoction and My first Gym Class!!

My latest tuna concoction is pretty good but it needs to sit in the fridge for a day to really taste right. It's a little bit of onion soup mix (powder kind), some kind of plain greek yogurt, and tuna. The soup mix flavors the yogurt a bit to look like mayonnaise (note: I personally don't really like mayonnaise but it looks like a normal tuna fish salad to the ignorant eye so they won't ask questions). You could add pepper if you like. I let it sit in the fridge and then ate it straight from the container with a spoon. Great and not that many calories if you go lightly with the soup mix.

The personal trainer came up to me while I was exercising and asked if I would take his class today. I freaked out because he didn't listen to my pain warnings and I ended up hurting my back on Monday but I tried the class anyway because I wasn't nervous of the atmosphere since he seemed to be a relatively cheery guy. I also thought that I might be able to fade into the background if the class was large enough. It wasn't. I was right in the center and he kept looking me in the eyes during the workout. It was an ab workout session and it was so awesome. I'm pretty sure they were laughing at me when I would exclaim "Oh my gosh you really want to do the planks again" but he kind of got me to push myself further with my idea of an ab workout. I will try to make more time to practice planks.

On another note: I've really started dressing better for work. I mean heels and everything. I haven't worn the make-up part but I may try tomorrow. I just don't want it to get in the way of my workout. Dressing up for work is fun; I'm not exactly sure why I didn't do it before. I felt really pretty. I guess my shopping spree after ruining most of my clothes in the wash really worked out. I just feel so happy.


I introduced fruit back in more for my diet. So far it's working out pretty well. I don't feel like I "need" to go to the vending machine and have sugar.

Happy Pain

Today was not the best of day there was soreness from yesterday's intense workout and there was stress of the earthquake that happened today, which was horrible. I never thought I would be so fearful like that without any real idea of when it was actually supposed to be over. It was a brief earthquake but it was still freaking scary.

No workout today: I was too stressed that there would be an aftershock that would knock me off my feet.

I'm happy that everyone I know is alright.

So My First Push up

I don't know if the personal trainer was lying to me when he told me I was doing it right but I did 5 push ups today. I was so proud of myself and was to sulky (about my weight) to post about it for my last entry. I did lunges too. I was so nervous about doing it in the gym but it was a great burn. I'm definitely going to keep it up because the regular elliptical isn't giving the same burn it used to hence my switching to the sideways version (which is extremely hard to keep up for long periods of time especially after the trainer session). He also had me doing planks. I thought I was going to do side planks as well but I didn't. The workout was pretty easy to do. I'm going to have to remember to incorporate parts into my own routine.

Not sure how to feel

I think I need to stop buying fiber brownies. I'm not losing any weight and I feel like taking them away will help me find better options for fiber and snacking. I had a great workout today- sideways elliptical, weight lifting, and I did a free session with the personal trainer (not realizing it was his plan into trying to get me into signing on for him to be my trainer).

I caved again this weekend, which is probably the real reason I'm not losing. I was doing well until Saturday afternoon. It feels kind of pathetic that I have lost my will power to eat healthy every time I'm with my family. Something is seriously wrong with that I always feel like I'm going to be lectured or labeled an outcast but I shouldn't care because it's my body. The places we went didn't serve healthy food. I tried to eat less of the food but I guess I didn't less enough. I kept handing my food to others to eat. I packed a healthier trail mix and ate that but it didn't deter me enough.

I know there are more ways to measure than the scale but it's depressing stepping on the scale after knowing you didn't do your best. I feel like I'm so close to the healthy weight but I still have so much growing to do mentally. I'm going to step on the scale in the morning and see if the number changes any from just after the gym weight. -sigh.