Tuesday, August 20, 2013


I stepped on the scale today thinking I would just be sitting at 160 but it said 163.4. I went to Zumba last night and I was so winded. I really hate the fact that if I don't go to the gym that I really will keep going up in weight. I thought it might be a depression sort of thing but I just eat too much sugar and processed foods. I have to be honest with myself that I need to just make working out at the gym as routine as brushing my teeth. I also need to force myself to cook. I'm not going to use the excuse anymore about the person I'm living with making me feel like its unreasonable to cook because they won't eat what I'm eating. 

It's really depressing that my weight is solidly back in the obese category but I saw it coming and didn't stop eat. 
People are going to make fun or me regardless of what weight I am. There are people still wanting to be my current size but its not enough for me. My clothes are getting tight and although I've been feeling somewhat happy that I'm not trying to stress to impress anyone. I haven't impressed my self. I looked at pictures from the over weekend and I just looked fat. I'm not going to go around talking about it but I did. Then the person I'm living with started mentioning how I should try doing squats. Is this your way of telling me that you think I look ugly? 

1 comment:

Raquel Smith said...

Girl you are awesome! I started reading your blog about a year ago and we were about the same weight. I have gained all 30 lbs I lost back, but I will not be defeated this time. I will lose the entire 60 lbs! Don't beat yourself up - you've come a long way from where you were and you're still no where near it ;-)