Bah

I'm writing again because I feel like I need to just get things off my mind. I have events coming up where I feel like if I were smaller that I would feel less self conscious. I've been thinking about how I    need to try more healthy activities to keep me motivated. My goals that I have set for myself revolve around spending money. I wonder if I'm putting too much on my plate by wanting to work extra to pay for the things I want and also do better at my regular job while losing weight. I started to get pretty sad amount giving up so much to lose weight but maybe I will just end up being smaller. I had a hard time this weekend trying to not compare myself so much to how I used to look and just think about how I look currently. I'm at a 8-10-12 size. The stomach pouch is pronounced so it will be a while before I reach 140 pounds. If I make cheese less turkey breast taco salad with Greek yogurt for sour cream and cabbage for the lettuce I might do a lot better both monetarily and thought wise. 

I finished off the chicken I made surprisingly. Normally I would let it go to waste after getting bored with it but the idea of going on a trip makes me want to save. If I eat ramen to save I would gain weight unless I practiced making the noodles from scratch. 

My legs are so sore from the squats that I will probably feel it tomorrow. Zumba is tomorrow night so I might end up having to sit out a song to alleviate some of the soreness.