Monday, August 2, 2010

Down to 204

Down to 204 pounds and my self-image is still wavering. I was paranoid after reading so many weight-loss stories- Fiction and non-fiction.

There are some new goals because I have new things I really want. I’m still going to get the box-set for 200 pounds but for 160 pounds I’m going to buy an evening gown that will help me forget my horrible prom—the idea was brought from the bad memories remembered from reading. I was forced into wearing a velvet stretchy dress with a fur collar (in May mind you) because I too overweight for a normal dress and I wasn’t given a say in it. I still cringe in the thought of that dress; prom was so bad I didn’t even have a date that I was trying to get. The “date” ticket was given to an acquaintance’s friend. I need a new positive memory to replace it. I want the works (meaning everything I never got): the corsage, a limo or towns car or heck even a nice sports car, a dress with sparkles, my boyfriend with a boutonnière and tuxedo, the stupid photo standing in front of the vehicle, my hair how I really want it and the wish that the moment will last forever. It would not matter to me if there were a whole lot of dancing—just one slow dance.

So yes, making progress... and with Chai Latte and Chai Tea... oh and don't forget the flaxseeds.

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