158.8

I'm back in the 150s. Hopefully I can keep going down. I went slightly off my plan by eating at the bowling alley but I didn't manage my time well yesterday. Hopefully today will be better. I'm about to do the squat challenge because I missed it yesterday from not managing my time well but at least I'm going to do it today. 

160.4

I'm not sure if I didn't go to Zumba yesterday if the number would be lower. I'm hoping to continue going down. It still bothers me that I feel like a marionette in some ways towards this weight loss but I know that I'm trying to make sure I fit in the clothes I bought before and also I want to see my face look smaller. It would be nice to go down into the 50s by next week. I forgot to bring lunch today for work partly because I should have packed it last night. I'm going to get a salad today for lunch. 

My friend and I were talking about the methods to use for losing weight and I'm coming ato the conclusion that I will need to cut cheese out of my life to the best of my abilities. I was doing low carb cheese before but cutting it out like I'm allergic might help me stay focused. I want to make some more baked zucchini tonight but I'm not sure how to cook it. I will figure something out. 

Chicken with celery and zucchini

I am proud of myself to follow through with making the chicken. I put chopped celery at the bottom. Laid the chicken on top. Poured no sugar added pineapples on top and zucchini slices around the chicken. The put salt free seasoning on the chicken and put pepper on the zucchini. Baked for an hour at 350 degrees. So happy with the results although I wish put more zucchini in the pan. There was so much chicken that the vegetables won't be enough. It tastes to me like chicken soup only better.

161

Thank you Raquel for the encouraging words! I find it hard sometimes to look at the fact I am not back at 220. I'm afraid of going back there so I'm going to stick with this. I did the 100 squats challenge YouTube video again this morning even though my legs were sore walking into work. I'm hoping that I can see visual results eventually. I know for sure now that I'm definitely being treated differently though because of the weight gain. Your weight shouldn't define you. I'm going to try harder to eat the lunches I bring to school instead of avoiding them. I ate scrambled eggs for dinner and breakfast yesterday and chicken for lunch. I was supposed to cook chicken last night but I didn't feel like going to the grocery. I wanted to bake it with celery and zucchini. I will do it tonight. I hate being in the 160s. I actually dislike being in the 150s but I could tolerate it. If I can keep up just coming into work and doing my morning exercises then I should be able to develop a routine. 

163

I stepped on the scale today thinking I would just be sitting at 160 but it said 163.4. I went to Zumba last night and I was so winded. I really hate the fact that if I don't go to the gym that I really will keep going up in weight. I thought it might be a depression sort of thing but I just eat too much sugar and processed foods. I have to be honest with myself that I need to just make working out at the gym as routine as brushing my teeth. I also need to force myself to cook. I'm not going to use the excuse anymore about the person I'm living with making me feel like its unreasonable to cook because they won't eat what I'm eating. 

It's really depressing that my weight is solidly back in the obese category but I saw it coming and didn't stop eat. 

People are going to make fun or me regardless of what weight I am. There are people still wanting to be my current size but its not enough for me. My clothes are getting tight and although I've been feeling somewhat happy that I'm not trying to stress to impress anyone. I haven't impressed my self. I looked at pictures from the over weekend and I just looked fat. I'm not going to go around talking about it but I did. Then the person I'm living with started mentioning how I should try doing squats. Is this your way of telling me that you think I look ugly? 

Err

I tried on my shorts that I wore for the vacation in december and I couldn't breathe. I need to get over myself and just eat correctly. I need to save money anyway so I can make all these purchases from Japan. I estimate that on an average workday I spend 20 to 30 on food so I'm spending at least 100 to 150 on food a week. That just doesn't work for me I could buy a dress a week if I made a giant healthy meal and ate it for an entire week with slight variations. 

I'm redoing my wardrobe to really be more about Japanese fashion. Also to have nicer things in general. I bought designer costume jewelry and have been practicing my makeup. Hopefully I'll do something about my hair. It was looking cute for a long while and then I just gave up.

I canceled my gym membership but I still use the gym at my place. I'm trying to devise a plan of entertainment while I'm on the elliptical machine so I will be motivated to stay on it for like 40minutes. Pandora isn't cutting it for me. I tried to use my phone to play a YouTube movie but it didn't work. I will figure out something. I want to watch Naruto while at the gym. There are so many episodes I will have enough to last me like an entire summer. I just need to figure out how to make it work. 

This picture was taken Wednesday. My face is looking puffy again. I need to take more photos to keep track of where I'm going.

157

I'm working out how I want to lose weight. I hit 162 at the beginning of the week and freaked out. I told myself I never wanted to go back into the obese category and I did. Right now I'm extremely overweight and feel like I should be happy with it but I would rather but closer to normal. I was debating whether I should renew my membership at the gym since Zumba hasn't been helping me lose weight. This week it did. I don't really want to pay that price to continue my weight loss. There is more to life than just walking on a treadmill and dancing in a Zumba class. Maybe I will have someone to exercise with on a regular basis in the future. Right now my goals are to exercise for a least 30 minutes a day. I didn't technically do that yesterday but I did walk around the mall for hours with my sore legs. My schedule is in disarray from this night class I'm taking but I will prevail. I'm going to put my health first. When I saw my weight in the 60s I thought about the health problems of being overweight. I don't want to be sluggish.