Saturday Night Blues

So I'm sitting here thinking about my weight loss. I've been browsing through weight loss videos on youtube. My menstrual cycle is probably playing a bigger part in my frustrations over the weight gain I experienced. I'm hoping really that the drastic increase of water will help shock my system back into where it was. I need to become obsessed with doing the exercises more than just thinking about it. Here are some of my thoughts as it stands:

I need to find more ways to exercise at work.
I need to will myself to stop shopping all the time to spend a little bit more time at the gym.
I need to drink water like the saying " you better finish what's on your plate before you do anything else"
I need to dress better for the gym (it's not a fashion show but it's easier to workout when people aren't staring at you).

I ate subway today without the cheese.

Freaking out a bit but it's going to be ok.

How can the scale tell me I gained so much weight when I thought I was doing so-so? Even on my bad weeks I've never gained 5 pounds in one week. So it's back to the basics like tuna, broccoli, popcorn, vegetables,and water. Anywho, I've been pumping hard at Zumba and I pumped even harder today after seeing the numbers on the scale. Funny thing is, my pants fit a little looser even though the scale is like Uh-oh. I'm going to Zumba and am going to sweat until I drop! My goal is to try to get close to 152 by next wednesday. I'm really going to drink more water-- it's been a problem of mine. I need to start using my Brita Filter again so I can save some money.

Oh and don't think I've fallen off the deep end. I think the weight might be water retention from the recent amount of sodium.

My Birthday!

My birthday is tomorrow but I've been celebrating it over this weekend.. I loved my outfit and want to share. We went out dancing and I had so much fun! Only one glass of wine and the rest was water!! :D I didn't take a picture of my second birthday outfit but I will get a picture of my gala outfit for friday!!

Zumba and forgetfulness

So I was doing great with Zumba until tonight when I missed 40 minutes of the class from thinking it started later for some reason. I was even looking up Zumba videos on youtube... which, there are some pretty good videos. I'm going to look into finding a spot to do zumba more than just the gym because I'm getting kind of obsessed with it. It's way more awesome than training for a 5k, at least for me. I apologized to the instructor, even though I didn't need to, for being so late to the class. She was so understanding and also said she'd make a CD for me to practice with!!!!! So cool, because I definitely want to get good. I need to see if I can bring speakers with me to the gym so I can practice the Zumba routines when no one is in the room.

152 woohoo

Finally my weight is down some more. I need to up my fiber a lot and keep it trucking. Still planning on going to Zumba tonight and tomorrow.

feeling pretty good.

It's round 2 of being sick. I just must not dress warmly enough. Zumba has been great. I went both today and yesterday. Hopefully nothing will get in my way of doing it tomorrow and thursday. I will try to exercise on the elliptical too at home. The internet is finally letting me stream video so I've been trying to watch as much anime as I can before it goes away.

Yellow popcorn doesn't taste anything like white popcorn. I think it's alright but I'm probably not going to buy it again unless I have to. Things eating wise are alright.

I'm really trying to appreciate my body for what it looks like now. I have to be proud of dropping like 5 dress sizes. It definitely is easily to fail victim to beating myself up because of how this process makes me realize how shallow people are. I was just thinking. Maybe I should stop focusing on how I look and start focusing on how I feel.

This post is so disjointed but that is where my mind is right now.

weird mood

Do you ever feel as though you just want to feel like something awesome was going on in your life? I feel like I'm always changing things up but I feel like I'm in a bit of a slump. I'm uploading a progress photo to remind myself of how my weight loss, regardless of how it started is really looking good on me. At Zumba tonight I was feeling empowered but at the same time wondering if the Zumba is really doing my body good. I feel the muscles working but I'm not feeling the results, which is probably due to my diet not being that great. It feels like I eat way better when I'm not near anyone or influenced by my emotions to conform. Sigh. It seems like conforming is all I'm really working towards (not that I really want to). I went shopping at the thrift store (like I normally do because I refuse to pay loads of money for clothes I don't plan on having like 5 months from now) and I was looking at this winter coat. Last year I was so proud of myself for being able to fit in an XL coat but it wasn't warm. Getting to the point. I felt like I could not buy the coat because I was worried about being chastised for it. I liked the coat but didn't love it. The coat I loved I also found at the thrift store and felt the same way. What is so wrong about buying a coat from a second hand store? People eat off silverware at restaurants that have been probably been used by people with diseases and viruses. What is the big deal? The coat was Michael Kors... and it was only $24. Sorry for the rant but I just don't know why I even care because it's not like it should matter to anyone. My weight loss is at a standstill and it's probably due to my lack of will power to get it done right. I know the good foods to eat and I know I need to do more training but I haven't brought myself to get back in the groove of things.

All this weight off my body doesn't change everything. I'm still the same person dealing with real issues. Weight loss isn't some magic trick that sprinkles your life with fairy dust to right all the wrongs. Each pound off does remind you that little by little you can change things about yourself if you work hard.


FYI: The before photo is really a during!