50 minutes

I worked out on the elliptical for 50 minutes today. I'm proud that I did it because I was debating whether I was actually going to get on from the room being so hot. I worked it out while watching The Biggest Loser Finale. I was amazed at how much they had lost in 5 months. It kind of makes me wish I had went on the show. It's making me really want to join a gym but I'm pretty sure I won't because of the money. I borrowed one of my favorite biographies from the library about weight loss. It's called "Half-Assed". I just need the reminders like I had in the beginning about why I am doing all this.

I'm scared of the phoney comments I'm going to receive from losing weight. People wanting to suddenly be my friend because I fit into their comfort zone of what a person should be like. I'm more afraid of staying afraid forever so I need to continue with my journey to healthiness. I want just keep on trucking. I wore my used to be tight pants to work today. It was a good feeling of not having to squeeze to put them on or walk in them. I need to remember to keep things short with people talking about my figure at work. It was easier in the fat clothes to walk around without anyone really noticing my weight. My relationship stress kick-started my shopping for skinny clothes after the car accident. I did not feel like I was ready but I usually go shopping when I want to relieve stress. I still walk into the plus size stores knowing full well that the clothes don't really fit anymore. The anxiety of trying on clothes in the "smaller" stores is tremendous. I know some larger women get that awkward feeling when you walk into the "smaller" store and people look at you like you shouldn't be in the store because you don't fit the clothes. It was weird when I tried something on and it did fit perfectly. I jumped up and down in the fitting room. It was a mini victory for me.