My boyfriend romantically made a slide show with music he composed of us together. I was shocked at how large I looked. He said it was the puffy version of me. I was horrified and happy at the same time. Horrified that I squeezed myself into so many ill fitting clothes but happy that I'm not puffy like I was before. I wonder what I'm going to look like when I'm thin not just "overweight" I want to look back and be happy.
We went to a restaurant last night and I desperately wanted BBQ ribs instead of all this health food!!! I've lost weight and still had my occasional junk type food. They just happened to be out of MY order of ribs not my boyfriend's order of ribs just mine. I got more grilled chicken and some shrimp instead. I guess I didn't need to have the ribs. I still wish I did though. I would have not regretted it if I did eat it. So many blogs talk about eating this and that with regret. I will have cake when I really want it. I will have ribs and beef when I really want it. I just eat it in moderation.
I will admit I only worked out twice last week so 2 hours. But I will work out more this week (I have to keep telling myself this). I am coming down from my "I don't want to do anything but make art" phase and settling back into normalcy. This should be interesting. I'm going to weigh myself at the end of the week. Maybe I should weigh myself tonight as a reminder to shock myself into exercising 4 hours or 5 hours a week again. Bah. I'll still be content as long as I tried with exercising. I do want to be thin in the summer but I'm not going to make myself super unhappy over if I don't end up in a single digit size. I could attempt tae bo again but this time before the elliptical machine.