156 (1/30/2013)

I wish I could say it was over but it feels like it's a never ending battle with weight. I can't seem to make enough good decisions about food and drinks or even exercise. I fell into a slump because I know Zumba is not helping my weight loss like it used too. Also I've made some friends but my decisions to indulge in bad food have lead me to this point. Hopefully I can break this horrendous weight gain. I'm feeling sluggish and down mostly because I know I could be doing better. Convenience and saving money is not doing me any good. I was trying to compensate for all this going out with my diet and also I've been trying to fit in. Fitting in with others is not helping me fit into my pants. It was actually embarrassing that I was getting dressed and I could not wear some of my clothes because I gained. Also I had been working so hard and I still have people calling me fat. I'm not fat. I'm not back to obese even though I'm close. I think I may stop hanging out with people and go back to my novels and biographies to get my mind right. The weight gain is only a symptom it will solve itself when I remove the stresses from my life. I still need to find friends that like healthy choices.